Page 56 of A Stormy Season

Lydia leaned toward her. “Will you not tell me the truth?”

“I will not. Believe what you wish.” Jane smiled.

Lydia shook her head. Then she whispered, “I am hoping you’re not engaged, because I want to marry him.”

Jane just smiled. “He is handsome, isn’t he?”

They both turned to look at Luke, who was sitting at a table several feet away. He noticed them looking at him and stopped in the middle of what he was saying to stare back at them, his mouth hanging slightly open.

“Yes, he is,” Lydia said, then sighed. “If you don’t want him, I do.”

They both laughed, even as a pain stabbed Jane’s middle. Luke didn’t want her, and she wasn’t even sure if she wanted him. The only reason she was continuing with the charade was because he was risking his reputation as well.

Lydia left, no doubt to go back to the other ladies and report what Jane had said. The woman across the table remarked to her about how good Dunsmere House’s cooks were and complimented the food, and soon Jane was talking with the others around her as they spoke of the lovely grounds, the beauty of the house, and the varied society in Hertfordshire.

“One could not do better than Luke Watley,” the older woman said. “And he is quite handsome. I hear his son looks exactly like he did when he was a child.”

The woman was being very kind, as some had speculated on the doubt of Luke being Jeffrey’s father, since it was known that Anne had not been faithful. But the truth was, Jeffrey did look very much like Luke, with the same color eyes and even the same facial structure. He was a handsome little boy.

“They do look very much alike.” Jane smiled.Even if Luke doesn’t wish me to spend time with Jeffrey.She mustn’t let bitterness take root, but she couldn’t help feeling defensive.

Overall, Jane was enjoying herself, even knowing that everyone was gossiping and speculating about her engagement to Luke. If she was honest with herself, she liked pretending that he was her fiancé and that they were engaged to be married. No doubt, she’d have to deal with the consequences of those feelings later, but for now, she was Luke Watley’s fiancée.

~ ~ ~

Luke caught Jane and Lydia Newman staring, obviously talking about him. He told himself he didn’t care, but he did wonder what they were saying as they were smiling and looking sneaky. But he knew Jane hated him now, after he had told her, although not in so many words, to stay away from Jeffrey.

He hated fighting with her, as it always reminded him of his relationship with Anne. And when she’d gone and started dancing with every man at the ball, he’d felt an actual stab in his heart, remembering how Anne had lashed out at him by showing interest in other men, acting as if she wasn’t even married.

And then, of course, there was the affair with Lenoir, as well as rumored affairs with one or two others.

He could never marry Jane. That was clear enough. But he was also seeing how much he might overreact in certain situations if he did marry again. If his new wife innocently danced with another man, which was certainly not uncommon, Luke would probably want to accuse his wife of contemplating being unfaithful. Such a thing would be an overreaction and not conducive to a healthy relationship.

Or if his new wife argued with him, he’d feel convinced that she was like Anne, contentious and impossible to get along with, when in fact arguing was inevitable for two people in a close relationship. And he did wish for a close relationship with his wife, something he’d longed for but had not attained with Anne, who was constantly pushing him away.

He knew of some traumatic events from her childhood, but she had become angry if he tried to talk to her about them, accusing him of all manner of things, when he just wanted to know her better, to know how she felt and thought. But those were obviously things she did not want.

Sometimes Luke was convinced that Jane could be that woman he’d always longed for, an intelligent partner who would share her thoughts and feelings with him, and to whom he could share his thoughts and feelings—his life. But he had a terrible suspicion that he had been pushing her away just as Anne had done to him.

Lydia Newman went to sit behind him at her own table, and even though his friend Tom Kennemer was talking to him, he heard Lydia say, “I asked Jane if she and Mr. Watley were really engaged, and she just smiled and said, ‘He is handsome, isn’t he?’ What do you make of that?”

He didn’t hear her companion’s reply as he mulled over Jane’s answer. She hadn’t lied about their engagement, and she hadn’t revealed the truth either. But it was ridiculous how much his insides warmed at Jane saying that he was handsome. His neck heated.

She was playing her part in this charade, nothing more. She disliked him, he was sure of it, and he couldn’t blame her. So why did he even care if she thought he was handsome?

He didn’t care. He wouldn’t care. He couldn’t.

He and his guests ate and drank until the early morning hours. Finally, some of them began to depart for home, so Luke positioned himself near the front door to bid them farewell.

He’d been there for several minutes but Jane had not joined him. Was she too angry with him to stand close to him and pretend they were in love?

“Thank you for coming,” Luke said as he shook Mr. Simpson’s hand. “I’m glad you enjoyed the evening,” he replied to the man’s compliments.

“You be good to that pretty fiancée of yours,” old Mr. Simpson said, winking. “She looks spirited, and she’s from a good family—neighbors of mine. Known them my whole life. You could not do better than Jane Gilchrist.” He shook his finger at Luke’s nose.

“Yes, sir. I know, sir.” Luke smiled, but his contradictory thoughts made his stomach feel sick.

Suddenly, he heard a yell from the stairs above them.