Page 67 of Castle of Refuge

“I told her, but it didn’t make a difference to her. I even explained that he deserved to marry someone who at leastwantedto marry him.” Audrey almost laughed, but ruefully. “I left him with no doubts about my unwillingness, I suppose. Poor Sir Clement.”

“Do not worry about him. He is well. Besides...” He was quiet so long, Audrey almost asked him if he was all right. “I don’t believe a woman should have to marry someone she does not feel love for.”

Audrey absorbed this in silence. It was not a popular sentiment. In fact, she did not think she’d ever heard anyone say such a thing—except herself.

“That is just what I think,” Audrey said quietly. It was strange how well she could see his face in this dark place, at night, behind a waterfall. The moonlight must be reflecting off the water as it fell. And maybe it was that moonlight that was making them both say things, more open and expressive things, than they’d ever said to each other before.

She grabbed her hair and pulled it down over her scars. She’d almost forgotten about them.

“You don’t need to worry about your scars,” Lord Dericott said.

“I like to keep them covered.” Her cheeks burned.

“Your scars don’t detract from your beauty at all.”

She held her breath. Why had he said that? Did he think she possessed... beauty?

“Maris always said I was ugly, even when we were little girls.” She hoped he didn’t think she was trying to manipulate him into giving her a compliment.

“She was very wrong. I am quite confident you have been abeauty all your life. She was only jealous of you, no doubt. You are so much more beautiful than she.”

“But she is the one with perfect skin and big eyes.”

He shook his head. “She does not have half your beauty.”

Audrey could hardly take a breath as she dwelled on his words. Could he truly mean them? Could he know they made her heart soar and then quiver with fear that he didn’t mean them?

“But what is better is the way you care for others, the way you teach the children every day and feed them and dote on them. And you’re always cheerful, always eager to help the servants, or to laugh and talk with them.”

“Oh.”

“I wanted you to know that I admire those things about you.”

Was he telling her this because he thought they were going to die? Whatever the reason, he made her feel warm inside. His words made her want more, and that frightened her. She mustn’t imagine she could have more than this moment, that Edwin’s words meant he would fall in love with her. They were friends, that was all.

“Thank you. I admire a lot of things about you too. You are steady and kind. You don’t treat your people badly. And you gave me an occupation by letting me teach girl children to read. You allow me to live in your castle and coerce you into feeding my students.”

That made him smile.

“You didn’t have to coerce me. I was pleased to do it.”

Truly, he was a good man. She drew in a long breath and let it out slowly. Good and kind and handsome. Could he possibly be thinking and feeling the kinds of things about her that she was thinking and feeling about him? She was scarred. But he was also scarred. Would he ever consider marrying her?

She suddenly wanted him to, so much so that tears filled her eyes.

I am ridiculous.

Seventeen

Edwin sat facing Audrey. Even after all that he’d said, Audrey still did not seem to understand how he felt about her. Or perhaps she understood exactly what he meant by his words and was only pretending not to know because she did not feel the same about him. Lady Ophelia rejected him. Audrey might not want him either.

“Do you think Maris and Umfrey have moved on and lost our trail?” Audrey asked, interrupting his thoughts.

“I don’t know, but it’s unlikely they will find us here, especially in the dark. The only way I knew about this hiding place is because I’ve been here before.”

“Shouldn’t we leave while it’s still dark? To make our way back to Dericott Castle?”

“We could do that. But I’m concerned about the wolves in this area. If we run through the forest at night, we will attract their attention. And as I didn’t bring my sword with me, a pack of hungry wolves could kill the two of us easily.”