Page 88 of The Piper's Pursuit

“Then thinking about kissing her is not a sin.”

“But... I also kissed her.”

“Against her will?”

“No.”

“I do not believe that is a sin either, if you only kissed.”

“But I am not worthy of her. She is much too pure and good for me.” When he said it out loud, it sounded rather silly.

“Many a maiden has loved a man unworthy of her. But it is not a sin to love.”

Steffan sat thinking about that. If Katerina did love him...

“My son, have you finished your confession?”

“Yes.”

“As penance, you must confess your childhood sins to your father and mother and your sisters and brothers in accordance to how you wronged them and ask their forgiveness.”

“I have already done that.”

“Then you must pray for an hour at the altar. And you must accept God’s forgiveness even as the thief on the cross accepted our Lord’s forgiveness as he hung there, and stop carrying your weight of guilt. Your guilt feelings are not serving any good purpose.”

The priest’s eyelids fluttered open and closed as he held his hand toward Steffan and said the words of absolution. “God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of His Son, has reconciled the world to Himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.Go in peace.”

“Thank you.”

“And do not worry about being worthy. If you love the maiden, and if you submit to God and ask Him to make you worthy, then you will be worthy. Only God can make a man worthy, after all.” He put a hand on Steffan’s shoulder and looked intently into his face. After a few moments, he gave a tiny nod. “You have a good heart. You just need to trust.”

Trust?Trust wasn’t Steffan’s struggle; it was Katerina’s.

Steffan thought he’d feel worthy if he saved the children and captured Hennek, but he’d done that, and his father had even praised him for it, and he still didn’t feel worthy. Perhaps he needed to... trust... that God and his father had forgiven him, that his heart—and his actions—had changed.

Steffan went back inside the church and knelt before the altar to pray. He gazed up at the crucifix. Jesus sacrificed Himself, not so Steffan could feel guilty but so he did not have to.

By the time he left, his shoulders felt lighter, as if a weight had been lifted off. Even his face, his eyes and mouth, felt relaxed and less tense. Could people see it? Could he now allow himself to forget about all those bad things that had happened in the past, the things he had done that he was now ashamed of?

His siblings, who were all so good... had they ever felt this way? This joy and lightness of spirit? Had Katerina? They were good already, but he... he had been forgiven much, and he would never forget it, never forget this feeling. “Thank You, God.”

Twenty-Seven

When Steffan came to the house, his father and Katerina were speaking with the men of the town council, discussing who would be in charge of the town treasury and tax revenue.

“It should be someone other than the new mayor,” Katerina said.

Father nodded. “The town needs a treasurer who will work with the Bürgermeister. And the ledgers and bookkeeping should be open to the town council to verify that the information there is correct and that no one is being corrupt.”

Steffan listened while they continued the discussion. Always Katerina was there, adding her opinion occasionally, the other men listening and treating her with respect. Steffan suspected that was because his father was there and had set the example, giving her deference and valuing her opinions. But it was also due to Katerina’s own spirit, to the fact that she had been the one to discover what had happened to the children, and she had fought for them, fought against Hennek, and won.

With Steffan’s help, of course. Steffan was good at fighting, but discussing business and running a town? He would rather get injured in battle.

“One of the first things we need to do is build up a strong guard,” Father said.

It was on the tip of Steffan’s tongue to say something. He even opened his mouth. But then he closed it as Katerina turned to look at him.

“I agree,” she said.