Page 46 of The Piper's Pursuit

“When I was thirteen years old, he started coming into my bedroom at night. At first he would tell me stories. Then he started trying to kiss me good night, but I would always turn my head. One night he tried to touch me.”

A knot tightened in her chest. She’d never told anyone about that, not even her mother. Steffan’s face was so full of anger and concern, she had to glance down at the floor, as it made tears sting her eyes.

“The next night I hid a knife under my bedclothes. When he sat down on the edge of my bed, I drew it out and said, ‘If you touch me, I will kill you.’ He laughed, then grabbed my wrist. I pushed my hand up and the knife point stabbed his chin. He let me go then.

“After that, he stopped coming into my room, but his guards started leering at me, brushing against me, and making lewd comments under their breath. I always pretended I wasn’t afraid of them, and if my mother was nearby, I would yell for her and tell her they were frightening me. They mostly stopped after my mother made a fuss and demanded Hennek force them not to bother me anymore. Perhaps some would say they never really did anything to me, did not physically hurt me, but they destroyed my little-girl innocence and sense of safety. It made me always vigilant, always afraid of anyone who got too close.”

Steffan clenched his fists and whispered, “How dare Hennek do that to you. And allow those men to harass you, especially when you were only a child. I will kill him.”

His reaction was a balm to the part of her that needed a protector.

“There were so many times I wanted to run away,” she went on, “but I was afraid of what he would do to my mother if I left. And I thought about killing him. I even made a plan.” Kat had to take a deep breath as she remembered that time. “But I didn’t do it, because I knew it would hurt my mother. She didn’t want to believe bad things about Hennek. It made me sick, but I had to accept that she actually loved him.”

“Do you think she still loves him?” Steffan’s brows rose.

“Perhaps not as much as she did then. I should have done everyone a kindness and killed Hennek in his sleep.”

“If you had, one of his guards would have just taken over this mining business and you wouldn’t have discovered what Hennek was doing. The children would still be enslaved. But we are going to escape and take them with us.”

Katerina nodded. “Yes, we are.”

An almost overwhelming urge to reach out and touch his face caused her hand to twitch. She wanted him to hold her hand, to put his arms around her. But there was still a bit of fear inside her stopping her, keeping her from asking for anything from him.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

His gaze was so intense, she looked away, unable to control the chaos in her heart. When he touched her fingers, she didn’t pull away. There was still a tiny voice telling her Steffan had some dishonorable motive for getting close to her, but it was stifled by the louder voice that trusted him, liked being close, and wished she was even closer.

“And now it is time for you to tell me something you’ve never talked about.” She smiled, knowing Steffan would not like this part of the bargain.

Just as she might have thought, he frowned and chewed the inside of his mouth.

“I shall hold up my end of the bargain.” He cleared his throat and pulled his hand away from hers, straightening a little away from her. “My brother is always trying to get me to talk about this. So here it is. When I was a boy, my brother Wolfgang and I were playing with another little boy. His father was a shepherd who worked for my father.

“This boy said we could not chase the sheep. His father had warned him, and it was the thing his father was the most adamant about. But I, in my arrogant, childish wisdom, convinced him it would be all right if we only chased two of the sheep. I said we would drive them across a stream, just to see if we could, and then we would drive them back and his father would never know. But when we drove them across the stream, the sheep went too far. We tried to stop them, but they fell off a tall outcropping and died when they hit the bottom.”

“Oh. That is bad.”

“It becomes much worse. I... Are you certain you wish to hear this?”

Her heart sank. Would his story shock her or cause her to judge him for his bad choices? But she said, “I’m sure it cannot be so very bad. You were a child, were you not?”

“I was eight years old.”

“I will not condemn you for something you did when you were only eight years old.” When he still did not speak, Kat said, “Please. Go on.”

“The little boy began to cry and said his father would beat him, would kill him. Wolfgang and I told him his father would not do any such thing, but the boy was inconsolable.

“Later that day, Wolfgang wanted to tell Father how afraid the boy was, wanted to tell him what we had done, but I persuaded him not to.” Steffan’s voice was turning hollow and raspy. “But it was a mistake. A terrible mistake.”

Steffan scrubbed his face with his hands.

“What happened?”

“The next day the boy was found beaten to death. The father was gone. No one ever saw him again in Hagenheim.” He hung his head and did not look up at her. “So you see what a terrible thing I did. I caused a child’s death.”

She wanted so much to comfort him, but her hands stayed by her sides. “You did not cause that child’s death, Steffan.”

“But I did. I actually did.” He rubbed a hand over his face again and turned away from her.