Page 97 of A Dangerous Engagement

“And you were very brave, Miss Mayson. I am grateful you were there. No one else could have done better at thwarting the threat to our government and the royal family.”

“Thank you for saying so.” Had she been brave? Mostly, she had simply done what she had to in order to save herself. “You were the truly brave one.”

He smiled. She hadn’t noticed before how his eyes sparkled when he smiled.

“I was only doing my duty. But Miss Mayson, there is another reason why I came today.”

“Oh?” Her pounding heart stole her breath.

“I also came here to say how sorry I am for the way I behaved toward you when we were at Doverton Hall.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that ...” He swallowed, his throat bobbing. His cheerful demeanor was quickly replaced by an intense look in his eyes, a tension around his mouth, and a crease in his forehead. “Under normal circumstances, I never would have put your safety at a lower priority. I am ashamed I did not take you with me when I escaped, that I left you there, in danger, to do the task I came to do, which was to get all the information about the insurrectionists back to the Home Office.”

“You had no choice. Besides, you were the one who wrote down the information, risking your life to do so, and you were nearly killed trying to get it back to London.”

“But I want you to know that I am horrified at the thought that I put you in danger and left you there, that you could have been killed. I thank God with all my heart that you were not seriously harmed.” His hand was poised, clawlike, over his chest.

So many thoughts and feelings were tearing through her. He was sorry he had left her in harm’s way, but did that indicate that he had feelings for her? Wouldn’t he be sorry he had left any woman in danger, even if he felt no attachment to her?

“Forgive me if I have made you uncomfortable, but I need to know you forgive me for not keeping you perfectly safe. I could not bear to go another day without telling you, without asking your forgiveness. Nothing less than my duty to my country and concern for the lives of hundreds of people would have stopped me from taking you safely back to London at the first opportunity.”

Her heart was thumping madly, but she managed to say, “You did keep me safe. You burned that first letter I wrote, which easily could have gotten me killed, and that is only one on a long list of things you did to keep me safe. And I do forgive you, though there is truly nothing to forgive. We both did what we thought best for our country.”

“Thank you, Miss Mayson.” Mr.McDowell expelled a breath, and the tension dissipated from his features, his mouth relaxing into a slight smile. “You are a great English lady, even if the history books never tell of your courageous deeds.”

“Now you are flattering me.” Felicity shook her head.

Her brother’s loud voice boomed from the stairs. He was calling to Mother, then she answered him in a much softer tone. Soon they both entered the room.

“Oh, Mr.McDowell.” Mother’s face split into a pleased smile. “I did not know we had company.”

“You have met, then?” Felicity asked, biting her lip at the way her brother was staring at Mr.McDowell with a goofy half grin.

“We met the morning he brought you and Aunt Agnes home from Doverton Hall, when he explained what had been happening there. How are you, Mr.McDowell?”

He bowed respectfully. “Very well, Mrs.Mayson.”

“Won’t you come and dine with us this evening?” she asked. “Mr.Mayson and I would dearly love to speak with you at more length and thank you for bringing our precious daughter and her aunt home. From what Felicity tells me, it was at great personal risk. Please do allow us to thank you.”

“I would be delighted to accept your offer.”

For the rest of his visit, he talked with Felicity’s mother and brother, who asked question after question about his duties as an agent for the Home Office. He actually seemed different than he had at Doverton Hall. Now a smile always seemed to be hovering on his lips, whereas before he had seemed much more sober and subdued.

When he left, he cast a wistful look at Felicity, then gave her a secretive smile before leaving and promising to come back for dinner.

When he returned for dinner, Felicity’s large family kept Mr.McDowell occupied with questions.

“Have you ever killed anyone?” her youngest brother, Gilbert, asked.

“Gilbert!” Mother scolded, her tone and look severe.

Mr.McDowell’s mouth twisted, then relaxed into a smile. “Fortunately, I have not.”

“What did you do to get that bruise on your face?” Timothy, her fourth-oldest brother, asked.

“I can answer that,” Felicity said. Everyone turned to her. “He was outnumbered twenty to one, and Lady Blackstone had a gun pointed at him.”