Page 89 of A Dangerous Engagement

“Lady Blackstone gave you something to help you rest. She said ... well, she said if you didn’t marry me, she could ... she could make you go to sleep and never awake, and I would not have to worry about it anymore. But I still want to marry you, Felicity, if you still want to marry me.”

Felicity laughed. It was a weak, quiet laugh, but she couldn’t seem to stop it. Should she tell him she’d rather go to sleep and never awake? He would be so hurt. Poor man. He’d have to find someone else to marry. Why did she feel so strange? It must be whatever Lady Blackstone had given her.

The look on Mr.Ratley’s face, similar to that of a thwarted child who’d broken his favorite toy, made her laugh again, even weaker than before.

“Why do you laugh? I see nothing amusing.”

“It must be the laudanum,” Felicity said. “I always laugh when the apothecary gives me laudanum.” And she always hated it and refused to take it, even when the doctor insisted.

Mr.Ratley frowned. He reached out and squeezed her hand. “Do you care for me at all, Felicity?”

“I ... I do not think so clearly ... at the moment. Perhaps you could come back later?” She could pretend the medicine was affecting her more than it was. And truthfully, she was not sure how much it actually was affecting her. But her life, and that of Aunt Agnes, was dependent on what she and Mr.Ratley said and did.

Philip McDowell sat at his desk, busily writing arrest warrants for all the men on the list Felicity had somehow managed to copy and send to him. He felt himself smiling at what ingenuity she must have employed to get the list to him. But his smile quickly faded as he considered what it might have cost her. Was she safe? Her family could have no idea what danger she was in. No, he was the only one who knew. And it grated on him that he was leaving her there, unprotected. The Home Office was scrambling to round up enough men—constables and the militia—to carry out the arrests of all those on the list, but they were not yet ready to go to Doverton Hall and seize Lady Blackstone, Ratley, and the rest of the leaders. It was thought they still had about ten days or so before those leaders would leave Margate to carry out their plans.

God, keep her safe. She is much too kindhearted, too brave, too good in every way to be harmed. Please don’t allow Ratley to force her into marrying.God willing, they still had a few days before the wedding.

He’d arrived back in London before sunset on Sunday, exhausted after riding hard half the night and all day. But he’d searched out the Home Secretary, the Viscount Sidmouth, at his town house to tell him what was happening at Doverton Hall.

Then late on Monday, the list he’d risked his life for had come by special courier, copied in Miss Mayson’s handwriting. His heart had lurched with admiration and triumph.

But today, Tuesday, he couldn’t dispel the feeling that her life was in danger.

He’d tried to ignore it, but it would not go away. He suddenly put down his pen, stood, and made his way to Lord Sidmouth’s office.

“Sir, I feel I must travel back to Doverton Hall and insure Miss Mayson is well.”

“I absolutely forbid it.” Lord Sidmouth stood and addressed him. “Those people will shoot you as soon as they see you.”

“I will not let them see me. The rector of the parish is the man who sent the list to me. He must be in the confidence of Miss Mayson. I can discover by or through him if Miss Mayson and her aunt are safe. And if I travel by coach, I can arrive there tomorrow evening.”

Lord Sidmouth frowned and stared at the floor a moment, then said, “Very well. I shall assign someone else to write the arrest warrants.”

“Thank you, sir.” Philip was so relieved at having decided to go back to Doverton Hall that he shook the viscount’s hand and had to stifle the whoop that had gathered in his throat.

He hurried out to make the necessary preparations.

“Felicity, wake up.”

Felicity opened her eyes to see Aunt Agnes standing over her.

“What? What is it?” Her voice sounded quite sleepy. Then she remembered why. Lady Blackstone had come into her room and forced her to drink more tea laced with laudanum. Felicity could taste it. She’d tried to refuse it, but Lady Blackstone had threatened her. Lady Blackstone would hold her nose and force it down her throat. So she drank it.

“Felicity.” Aunt Agnes was shaking her shoulder again.

“What? What?”

“I was afraid you would not wake up.” Aunt Agnes was crying. She dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. “We have to get out of here.”

“I think I can get out of bed. I am sure I can walk.”

“You are too weak.”

“No, no.” Felicity raised herself to sitting, but her head began to spin.

“Darling, Lady Blackstone told me you were ill.”

Felicity opened her eyes to see Mr.Ratley sitting by her bed. Had she fallen asleep again? The last thing she remembered was sitting up, talking with Aunt Agnes.