Page 44 of A Dangerous Engagement

“Of course. Come.” He led her inside and walked her up to her room.

“What will you do the rest of the day?” Felicity hoped he would not be wandering the corridors while she went to her rendezvous with Mr.Merrick.

“I think I will go and see Lady Blackstone’s falcons. She is quite a good falconer.”

“I hope you enjoy yourself. I may go and find myself a book to read after I’ve lain down for a few minutes.”

They were standing at her door. He leaned toward her, but stopped short of kissing her. He straightened. “Am I permitted to kiss you here?”

“Only on the cheek.” She smiled and offered her cheek.

He frowned, then kissed her on the cheek. She quickly went inside her room.

Aunt Agnes was breaking her fast by the window.

“Auntie, are you well?”

“Yes, but I have been wondering when we might go back to London.”

“Soon. I hope. But I do not know exactly when.” Felicity walked to her bed and lay across it.

How many times had she lied to Mr.Ratley today alone? She was not a spy. Would guilt overtake her and cause her to make a mistake?God, forgive me for the lies. I know liars have their place in the lake of fire.Was there justification based on motive and situation? She couldn’t recall reading anything in the Bible about such a thing. Although ... God often commanded the Israelites to kill during wars with other nations. If killing was permissible in wartime, wouldn’t lying be also?

She waited until she felt Mr.Ratley must be safely outside the house. She could go and try to get into Lady Blackstone’s room with the key, but her hands shook at the mere thought. What if Lady Blackstone came back from her ride and caught her?

If she were as bold and fearless as Lady Withinghall, she would take the risk, but she decided it was best to go and meet with Mr.Merrick, as he would be waiting for her in the library closet. Besides, she was bound to make a mistake sooner or later, and a mistake could cost her life as well as Mr.Merrick’s. No, as she had decided earlier, she would give him the key.

“Auntie, I’ll be back soon. Do you need anything?”

“You might pick out another book for me, if you are going near the library.”

“Of course. I will.”

Felicity hurried down the stairs, then reminded herself not to look suspicious and slowed her pace. She entered the library, picked a book from one of the shelves, and went inside the closet door. Mr.Merrick stood waiting for her in the tiny room.

He had brought two small stools into the room. He indicated one with his hand. “Would you like to sit?”

“Thank you.” She perched on the small stool and handed him the key that, embarrassingly, had become damp from her sweaty palm.

“What’s this?”

“It’s the key to Lady Blackstone’s room. I took it from Mr.Ratley’s pocket.”

He stared at the key, then at her, from his perch on the stool. He was only two feet in front of her, and the closet was quite dim, having no windows and being lit by only one candle.

“Very well done, Miss Mayson. Truly, you are a great spy.”

A giggle suddenly escaped her throat. She pressed a hand to her lips and shook her head. If he only knew how afraid she had been, how her hands had hardly stopped shaking.

But his bright-blue eyes continued to gaze at her. “Truly, I am very impressed.”

She had to blink away tears. “Don’t be. If I were not so afraid, I might have stolen the papers by now. Lady Blackstone went riding this morning, and Mr.Ratley said he was going to look in on her falcons, but I was too afraid Lady Blackstone would return while I was in her room. I am not a spy, Mr.Merrick.”

She took a deep breath to try and force back the threatening tears.

“Well, I do appreciate what you had to do to get the key, Miss Mayson.”

She shook her head again. “I had to let him kiss me. I hated myself for doing it.” The words made the tears come back. One slipped from her eye, and she wiped it with her fingers.