Page 37 of A Dangerous Engagement

Her heart fluttered as she went back up the stairs to wait for him to make his way to the library closet. For the next five minutes she kept glancing at the clock while assuring Auntie that all was well.

Felicity went back down to the library, praying she looked calm and would not meet anyone on her way. She did meet two of the men, but they barely glanced at her and only mumbled a quick greeting before continuing toward the billiard room.

She slipped into the library, wandering around a few moments, as there were some chairs situated at the back of the library in a rather hidden corner behind some bookshelves. Thankfully, no one was there. Then she went in through the side door and shut it behind her.

“Have you learned something new?” he asked her.

Her face stung as she realized he might think she had not truly learned anything and was only trying to be alone with him. What they were doing was highly improper, besides being dangerous. She probably should not have risked it. But she was here now, so she might as well tell him.

“Lady Blackstone and Mr.Ratley pulled me into a sitting room to question me about my loyalty to them and their cause. I believe I was able to assure them that I am supportive of everything they wish to do. They told me that they will make it possible for me not to be too involved. Mr.Ratley said I may stay far away from London when the actual revolutionary events take place. But that is a bit of a problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“I believe he expects us to be married by then. And I ... I cannot marry him.” The very thought of marriage to Mr.Ratley was horrifying. “But I don’t know how I can avoid it. I suppose it depends on how long it takes us to get the necessary information to your people at the Home Office.”

“Yes.” He rubbed a hand over his mouth and chin, drawing her attention to his masculine, square jaw with just a hint of reddish-brown stubble. “That is a quandary.”

If she had met Mr.Merrick sooner, perhaps she would not have engaged herself to Mr.Ratley. But she had engaged herself. Shouldn’t she be willing to sacrifice in this way to save the lives of her countrymen and her king? In a time like this, she could not be self-centered.

The story of Esther came suddenly to her mind. That woman had married a pagan king she hardly knew to save her people. Could Felicity marry Mr.Ratley? Her stomach twisted.

Philip looked Miss Mayson in the eye and said again, “It is a quandary. But you are right. We must get the information quickly and get it back to my superior.”

“Yes, but if we make a mistake in our haste ...” She bit her lip, a crease forming between her eyes. “It may come down to me having to marry him.” She pressed a hand to her eyes.

He longed to comfort her, to put an arm around her and tell her everything would be well, that he would protect her, but not only would that not be wise, but he couldn’t in all honesty promise her that. And he could not afford to think sentimentally. If she was willing to sacrifice herself, he should let her. The Home Secretary, Lord Sidmouth, would not want him to jeopardize the mission for one woman, no matter how beautiful, gentle, and innocent.

“We shall assume the best and hope we don’t come to such drastic measures.” The thought of Miss Mayson marrying Mr.Ratley made his stomach sick.

“Yes, of course.” She took her hand away from her face and nodded, suddenly brave again. “Forgive me. I am sure all will turn out well. Do we have a plan for tonight at the ball?”

“I will get those papers in Lady Blackstone’s room, but it will be too dangerous tonight. Lady Blackstone is quite clever. She would notice if someone was missing—especially you.”

“Yes, you are probably right.”

“The men are becoming more comfortable with me, so I have managed to get some bits of information. But the problem is that none of them know very much.”

“It all comes down to those papers.”

“Yes.” He thought for a moment and said, “If you happen to discover Lady Blackstone plans to leave the house for any reason, or that she has left, you must get word to me.”

“Will you take them, copy them, and then return them?”

“That seems the best plan. Since you were cleverly able to memorize the paper on the top, we can replace Lady Blackstone’s papers with blank pages but leave the top sheet. That way she wouldn’t notice we’d taken them unless she looked very closely.”

“That sounds very good.”

It was the first genuine smile he’d seen on her face all day. How pretty she was, with her pale, red-blonde hair, her gentle green eyes, and her pink lips. Her features were as delicate and appealing as early-morning sunshine on a dewy meadow.

He was becoming a poet. His brothers would laugh him to scorn over such sentimentality.

Philip rarely made time to see his brothers anymore. He had grown tired of their pranks and tricks a few years past, and their conversations had become strained. But they would have to respect him after he saved the country and the monarchy.

“Well, I suppose we should go before we are missed.” She was looking at him quizzically.

He nodded. He wanted to say that he hoped he might get to dance with her. Would her fiancé see something in the way they looked at each other—after all, they had such a huge secret between them—to make him suspicious?

Still, the opportunity to dance together could present itself. Wouldn’t it be more suspicious if he avoided her?