Page 34 of A Dangerous Engagement

“That’s not true. I am greatly impressed with your spying skills. But ... I don’t want you to endanger yourself anymore. It’s my job to spy on these people, not yours.”

“But I can help you. I know I am only a woman, but—”

“Why do you say that? Only a woman?” It was the same as his saying he was “only a fourth son.” That was a painful way of thinking ... and he should know.

“Because I fainted. Men don’t faint.”

“Nonsense. You faced more dangers today than many men do in a lifetime. I think you’re very brave. Besides, I should imagine fainting has more to do with involuntary impulses and biological factors than with courage.”

She was silent for a few moments. “You are very kind to say so. But I will try very hard not to let it happen again.”

“You have discovered some very important information. And the sooner I can retrieve the rest of it, the sooner we can leave this place. However, it is extremely dangerous for you to go into Lady Blackstone’s room. You must not attempt it again.”

“I nearly forgot. I also found a small gun and a knife in Lady Blackstone’s bureau.”

It was an interesting discovery, but it was not unusual for a wealthy woman to have a gun in her room. The knife was no great surprise either, although he couldn’t help wondering if it was the murder weapon. Even if it was, it would be difficult to prove. However ...

“That’s another reason it would be dangerous for you to go back into her room. We must accept that it was either Lady Blackstone or Mr.Ratley who murdered that man in the garden.”

A sudden noise from the bed beside Miss Mayson made him jump. Philip reached for the dagger in his coat pocket. But it was only Miss Appleby as she drew in a loud, snoring breath.

“I should get back to my room before someone comes to look in on you,” he said.

“Yes, please do not endanger yourself unnecessarily.” She was so gentle.

He folded up the paper he’d written her information on and shoved it into a hidden pocket in the lining of his coat.

“I shall let you know if I find out anything new—or I shall give you our ‘sky’ signal and meet you in our secret meeting place in the library.”

Was it his imagination, or was she smiling?

“Miss Mayson, I hope you have not forgotten how dangerous this is.”

“I am as loyal to my country as anyone—I have a brother in the army. I grew tired of always waiting for ... That is, I rather thought I would become a missionary. But I am pleased to help, Mr.Merrick, to save our king and Parliament.”

Again, he shook his head, this time at Miss Mayson. “I am glad, since you are risking your life, that you are able to do it wholeheartedly.”

“We women are able to do many things wholeheartedly.”

Felicity could not convince her aunt to take a walk in the garden with her the next day, but she could not bear to stay in the house all day, so she took her walk alone.

The sky was dark and threatening, but at least it was not terribly cold. Spring was well underway, producing more color. But the flowers were hardly a distraction, as she could think of little besides the drawer in Lady Blackstone’s room where she’d found the papers with the counties and cities where Lady Blackstone’s fellow rebels lurked, waiting to betray their government with violent overthrow. If only Felicity had stayed longer and memorized more or had been brave enough to steal them outright. She could have copied them in her own room and then returned the originals before Lady Blackstone was aware they were gone.

Or she could have gotten caught.

Would Lady Blackstone truly murder Felicity if she discovered she was spying on her? The dead body was proof enough of the danger, but Lady Blackstone professed to love her and Mr.Ratley. Would her fiancé defend her? She said a quick prayer that she never had to find out.

She examined the new leaves sprouting on a tree in the less-formal section of the garden. Her cheeks heated as she remembered fainting in Mr.Merrick’s arms. When she had come to her senses again, he was placing her on her bed. Thankfully, Mr.Merrick was a gentlemanly sort of man and did not tease or berate her. And she did not even want to think about the impropriety of him carrying her to her bed.

But she was doing something important—something very important—for her country. All of those men who had refused to dance with her at balls because she had no fortune, would they not be surprised to see her now? All those times she had secretly sobbed into her pillow at night because someone at a party had looked down on her, or because a gentleman she fancied had become engaged to someone else, she had felt helpless. Now she felt strangely empowered, even though her life was in danger. But at least her life did not depend upon marriage. It depended on how well she could conduct herself.

But she had nearly forgotten: she was engaged to be married to Mr.Ratley. Such a foolish, impulsive thing to do, accepting that man’s proposal. It was as if it was another person who had decided it was a good idea to marry a man because Lady Blackstone influenced her, because that man was cheerful and polite, and simply because he had a fortune with which to make her life comfortable.

But she had no mental energy to waste on regret and rumination. She had to think of how to get those papers from Lady Blackstone’s room, even though Mr.Merrick had asked her not to endanger herself. If she were able to, why shouldn’t she steal the papers? But if she tried to search Lady Blackstone’s room during the ball, she might be missed. She would keep her ears and eyes open for Lady Blackstone’s and Mr.Ratley’s whereabouts and plans.

And thinking of Mr.Ratley, he’d seemed so distracted the night before at dinner. Tonight was the ball, and she’d be forced not only to talk to him but also to dance with him. She only hoped she’d be able to dance at least once with Mr.Merrick.

Foolish thought. They should stay away from each other, lest anyone get the idea that they were anything more than passing acquaintances. But she couldn’t help thinking how much more handsome he was than Mr.Ratley. What had made her think Mr.Ratley was handsome at all? Mr.Merrick’s blue eyes were so arresting, and his red hair and gentle features made her heart flutter even now. There was a certain deep look in his eyes, a solidness and honesty that she rarely noticed in a man so young as Mr.Merrick, who must be around twenty-four or twenty-five.