Page 22 of A Dangerous Engagement

He stood and tucked her hand inside his arm.

Being so near to him set all her nerves on edge. Her limbs ached with the tension.

They joined the others who were awaiting the announcement that dinner was served.

She needed to hold herself together through the next few hours of tedium and conversation. She had to stop her mind from dwelling on the facts of her situation. But most of all, she must not let Lady Blackstone and Mr.Ratley see the fear and dread and panic in her heart.

Philip watched Lady Blackstone and Mr.Ratley both glancing often at Felicity Mayson—Lady Blackstone with shrewdness and suspicion, and Mr.Ratley with a bit of fear and perhaps even anger. Had something happened? Was Felicity a potential traitor to their cause?

Or was it only wishful thinking on his part?

Felicity Mayson, on the other hand, was quick to laugh at the other guests’ jokes, and she avoided eye contact with both Mr.Ratley and Lady Blackstone. There was a strange tension in the way she held herself erect and in her jerky movements.

After dinner, when the men rejoined the ladies in the drawing room, he watched Felicity Mayson get up from her seat and sit next to Mrs.Cartwright on a settee that was made only for two, as if she was trying to prevent any of the men from sitting too close. But Mr.Ratley pulled a chair up next to her.

What newly engaged woman would try to avoid sitting with her fiancé?

Philip noticed Miss Mayson only spoke when Mr.Ratley spoke to her first. Then she slipped away before anyone else, and Mr.Ratley said, “Miss Mayson had a headache and went to bed early.”

He did not look concerned about her and immediately joined a conversation between Lady Blackstone and two of the men.

Philip would not be able to solve the mystery of Felicity Mayson and her loyalty tonight, so he drew near to Lady Blackstone’s group to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Felicity got up as soon as it was light and took out a sheet of paper and pen and ink, sitting down at the little desk in the bedchamber she shared with Aunt Agnes. She’d been writing this letter in her head for the last hour and a half, changing her mind every minute as to how much to say and how to say it.

Dear Mother,

I do not wish to alarm you, but I need you to send Father and the carriage at once to take Aunt Agnes and me home. I don’t want to say too much in a letter, but there is danger here, and I’m very afraid.

Felicity’s hand shook as she wrote. What if Lady Blackstone came into the room and read her letter? Would she murder her and hide her body? What would happen to poor Auntie?

Felicity closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing.

She would finish the letter, seal it, and place it downstairs with the outgoing mail. All would be well. But what if they opened her letter and read it? Surely they would not do that. What other choice did she have but to send the letter? She could think of no other way to escape from the nightmare in which she had found herself.

She continued her letter, her hand still shaking.

When she finished, she read over it. The handwriting was not the steadiest, but it was legible. She folded the paper, held her stick of wax over the candle to melt it, and sealed the letter.

Should she take it downstairs now while everyone else was still asleep? That would give her hostess more time to get suspicious, take her letter, and read it. Perhaps she would wait until it was almost time for the servant to post the letters.

Felicity set the letter down on her desk, but it looked so incriminating lying there. She covered it with some paper.

But what if her letter was the only one going out? What if the servant waited until more letters had been brought down before taking the trouble to post them?

Her chest began to ache, and she felt as if she could not breathe. Never had she been so frightened in her life. Her gaze caught upon a copy of theBook of Common Prayerlying on a shelf.

Oh.I should pray.Why had she not thought of that sooner?

Felicity knelt by her bed and clasped her hands, then whispered, “O God, I beseech thee to hear my prayer and save me from this danger. Let this letter go safely into the post, be sent quickly to my mother and father, and let them come and save me. And please, please, do not let my letter be intercepted. Let it be invisible to those who would do me harm if they were to read it. In the meantime, let them not despise me, but let me be safe from the wrath of these insurrectionists. Truly, I am sorely afraid. Please save me.”

She was becoming even more afraid as she prayed. Instead of letting anxiety overwhelm her, she should make a statement of faith.

“O Almighty God, you are not without strength and power to save. Save me with thy mighty right hand. Send your angel with his flaming sword to defend Auntie and me and keep us safe. For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory. Amen.”

Feeling encouraged, she got up, took her letter from the desk, and went downstairs. She would trust God to keep her letter safe and carry it to her parents in London.

CHAPTER EIGHT