Page 108 of The Breakup Artists

“You’re saying yes, but I’m hearing no,” I say, shooting him a questioning glance through the mirror.

He brushes off my objection. “Have you heard from Leah or Amber?”

I shake my head. “Have you heard from Ella?”

“Not really,” he says.

“Anything I should know?”

He shrugs, but his cheeks flush.

And for a split second, I feel sidelined. “You know that you’ve literally never done this on a case before.”

“Done what?”

“Not tell me every detail. You hung out with her all afternoon. It’s weird how little you said. This is a job... one we’re both doing.”

He sits up, considering it. But all he offers is, “I don’t know.”

“You could talk to me about it, you know. Tell me how you feel about Ella,” I say, trying to push my grievance aside in favor of support.

“Tiny,” he says like I just embarrassed him.

“I’m serious.”

But he doesn’t respond.

“What’s your deal? Why don’t you tell me things anymore?”

“I talk to you constantly,” he says like I’m making something out of nothing.

Why are guys so impossible? “Let me ask you this then—does it bother you that Ella’s a case? Do you wish she wasn’t?”

August winces. “Kinda.” And then with a sigh he says, “Yes.” After a long beat he adds, “Would it be crazy if we—” He stops abruptly, like he can’t bring himself to say the words.

“Crazy if we what?”

He looks so vulnerable that for a second, I don’t recognize him. “If we... tell Ella?” he says, his voice quieter.

“Tell Ella what? About Justin? You know that’d only put us in the hot seat. Way better if Amber does it.” But by the look on his face, that’s not what he meant at all. And suddenly it clicks. “Holy shit. Do you mean tell herthe truth?”

Suddenly, he’s off my bed and standing. “Never mind. It was stupid.”

“You actually want to tank this case?” I ask in a shocked tone. I knew he had a crush on her, but I never imagined in a million years that he’d feel strongly enough to suggest something so reckless.

His face turns bright red. “I’m going to see if your mom needs any help,” he says and exits my room before I can say another word, leaving me speechless.

My first thought is hopeful—that my best friend is having real feelings and that maybe this means he’s finally peeking out from behind The Wall. But my second thought is pure anxiety. Not for the loss of the case—that I can get over—but for the risk it poses to August. I can’t imagine in a million years that if he tells Ella the truth she won’t hate him. Not to mention that Ella’s father told him in no uncertain terms not to kiss his daughter—falling in love with her is totally out of the question. And what happens if he opens up for the first time in forever and gets brutally shut down? One step forward and thirty-five steps back, that’s what.

52

august

I sit on the dock with my cup of lemonade perched beside me. My back is to the tents of socializing guests, and for the first time ever I wish this party were over. Tiny has been so busy these past twenty-four hours helping her family that I couldn’t find the right moment to tell her that not only did I almost screw everything up and kiss Ella, but I’m certain her father witnessed it. I had every intention of going straight home to confess. But Tiny was gone when I got there and didn’t return until late evening, by which point I’d convinced myself that maybe Ella’s father didn’t see us because he hadn’t called to chew me out. And then this morning, I just didn’t know how to say it, how to admit something out loud that I haven’t come to terms with myself—that I’d burn this case to the ground for the chance to kiss her. But if I told Tiny that, I’d also have to tell her that my savings are gone and that without this job, I have no idea how I’m going to pay for Berkeley. So I decided it was better to wait until after the party, giving myself time to figure out a workable solution.

“You’re missing the fun,” Tiny says, her heels clicking on the dock behind me and yanking me out of my thoughts.

“Just getting some air,” I say, pushing myself into a standing position.