Page 38 of Mom Com

I sway from my perch on Matt’s kitchen counter, surrounded by alcohol and a group of girls from my calc class.

“Preach,” I say with a hiccup as one of them makes an offhanded comment about how we need a fresh pool of guys in this town.

Noticing my cup is now empty, I attempt to slide off the counter, a motion which is neither smooth nor easy. I knock over a vodka bottle, just barely catching it before it rolls off the counter, but lose my footing in the process. Thankfully, someone steadies my arm before I do an imitation of a cartoon character on ice.

“I think we should get you some water,” Jake says, who I now realize is the one propping me up.

I grin at him. “I hear that stuff is overrated. Gets in the way of getting drunk.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that,” he says, looking like he might be concerned. “I think you accomplished that like a champ.”

“I did, didn’t I?” I say, hiccupping again and also sliding again.

Jake scoops me up then, just picks me up like it’s nothing.

I stare accusingly at the floor. “You know, it’s really not my fault the floor keeps moving like that.”

Jake chuckles, carrying me out into the hallway. “Totally the floor’s fault.”

I nod as we ascend the staircase, my head bobbing in rhythm with the steps, making me dizzier than I was a second ago. I press my forehead into Jake’s shoulder, trying to subdue the queasy feeling.

But as we enter the upstairs hallway, a voice cuts through the noise, “What do you think you’re doing?”

I lift my head to find Wilder blocking our path. I try to make out what he means, but I’m at a loss. And I’m vaguely annoyed, but I can’t remember the details of why.

“That would be exactly none of your business,” Jake replies, a hard edge in his tone.

Wilder doesn’t move. “You’re not taking her into one of those bedrooms, Jake.”

I blink. Huh?

“For fuck’s sake, Wilder,” Jake growls, now pissed off. “You really think I’d—” he stops short. “She needs to lie down and drink some water. She could barely stand in the kitchen.”

I look from one to the other.

“Then you won’t mind if I come with you,” Wilder says, not backing down.

“I do mind,” Jake snaps.

“Well then you’ll just have to get over it,” Wilder replies, opening the door to what looks like a guest bedroom.

Jake’s so tense that I can feel his shoulders lift, but he doesn’t continue the argument. He just steps through the door and lays me down on a baby blue bed.

“Ohhhh,” I say, finally catching up as my head sinks into the fluffy pillow. I turn to get a proper look at Wilder, who’s hardcore frowning. “You were worried?” I say like it makes no sense. “That Jake and I...” I laugh, but no one laughs with me. “Well, you can rest easy ’cause you’re about four hours too late on that one.”

It’s as though someone pressed the pause button, freezing everyone in place. Wilder’s face drains of color, and he looks so upset you’d think I’d smacked him.

I try to sit up, but the motion overwhelms me and the world sloshes back and forth in my vision. “I think—” I start, the queasy feeling returning tenfold. And suddenly I’m moving, tripping my way toward the bathroom. Someone helps me. Two someones? I don’t know.

CHAPTER13

Caught Red-Handed Velvet Cupcakes—

stuffed with gooey chocolate and topped with cream cheese frosting that is sure to make you feel guilty

Liv: Do you admit that I won that bet or what?

I smile, plucking my phone off the couch next to me and giving my laptop a rest from job hunting in LA.