Page 75 of Hexed Up

“Trouble in paradise,” she says, shrugging.

“We can only hope,” I whisper.

“You’re not a fan of Norman, then?” Horatio asks.

“No,” both Tiggie and I say in unison.

“I mean, he’s nice,” I add, suddenly feeling guilty, like I’m betraying my big sister who does seem to have decided this is the man she wants to spend her life with. “But just a bit dull.”

“Really dull,” Tiggie mumbles.

“Right,” Horatio says, leaning back again to gaze up at the ceiling. “And you don’t like dull?”

“No,” I say. “I really don’t. Life is far too short for dull and boring.”

* * *

Later that evening, as I watch Horatio attempt to act outThe Lion Kingin the game of family charades after dinner – a task that proves doubly difficult because most of my family have no concept of, or interest in, the civilian world and have never seenor heard of the film and I can’t help smiling at him for his willingness to look ridiculous and keep trying anyway – it dawns on me, suddenly and spectacularly. I am developing feelings for my fake boyfriend. The fake boyfriend I have accidentally bewitched with a potent love potion.

The realisation has me frozen in my seat and unable to speak, which means poor Horatio crawls around on the floor roaring for the next two minutes because no one guesses the right answer.

“Better luck next time, lad,” my dad says when he reveals the answer and everybody gawps at him blankly.

“I thought my acting skills were better than that,” Horatio mumbles as he flops down in the chair beside me, and my cousin Eva takes his place. “I also thought you’d get it.”

“Wh-wh-wh-what?” I say, stuttering through my words because… feelings for a fake boyfriend whom I’ve bewitched? What the Jiggins?!

I’ve messed things up in my life. Some of those messes have been pretty darn dramatic. Getting thrown out of the Witching Academy is probably at the top of that list. But this, this is definitely pushing for pole position.

Despite what Damien may think, I don’t catch feelings that often or that frequently, and I certainly haven’t caught feelings in a very long time. But feelings must be the reason my belly does that swooping thing when he looks at me, or speaks to me, or smiles at me, or laughs at my jokes, or says something nice to me or lies out on a sun-lounger in nothing but tight swimming trunks.

Ugh. Feelings. This isn’t good.

I reach for my wine glass and down the lot.

“Are you okay?” he asks me as I slam my now-empty glass back on the side table and motion for a refill.

“Fine,” I say with a hiccup. “It’s just, you know, families. I think maybe … I mean … would you mind if we left early tomorrow morning?”

“You don’t want to stay for lunch and the board games?”

I pull a face and shake my head.

“Sure,” he says, reaching down to tickle McGruff’s ear, the dog having settled comfortably by my fake boyfriend’s feet.

Then he lifts his gaze to my cousin Eva, whose acting skills are leaving everyone equally baffled, and shouts out, “Pride and Prejudice!”

She yelps with delight and claps her hands, and Horatio rises to his feet.

“Maybe go for something a little easier this time,” I advise him.

“I thoughtTheLion Kingwas easy,” he says.

He really has no idea about our world, which – apart from the complications around faking our relationship and love potions that have yet to be reversed – is an added reason why this could never work. A civilian and a witch is almost as unheard of as a witch and a vampire. I can’t see that working. Maybe for a few months of fun, but long term? No way.

Imagine the shared Christmases. Not to mention Halloween. I shudder just thinking about it.

“Alien,” I call out as he mimes his hand bursting through his stomach, and he nods his head at me thankfully.