Page 95 of Embrace

I don’t have casual sex, and the last time I did, it was with Tabitha. That wasn’t my best moment, considering she had been actively stalking me and my friends, but she had been the only constant in my life. Someone who let me care for them. She made me feel useful. Like she needed me.

Scarlett’s reaction still swirls in my head, and Cole’s stupid face is still clear in my memory. It’s all wrong, nothing like it’s supposed to be.

Even on the way to campus today, I had to stop myself from driving straight to Iona. She said it was a kiss, like it meant nothing. That doesn’t sit right with me. Not when I heard the way she whimpered from every lick and stroke, bucking her hips with every word I whispered.

I hover over her name in my texts again. Then Cassie’s message pops up, a reminder about our date tonight, and my stomach sinks. It doesn’t feel exciting. It doesn’t even feel right. Not when Scarlett is still everywhere in me, her soft moans echoing in my head.

“I’d pay attention if I were you, Mr. Ishida,” Dr. Dunn scolds, bringing my attention back to the lecture I’ve been in for the past two hours.

I startle but give him a wide grin. “I can’t look anywhere else, Dr. Dunn. You’re utterly captivating.”

“So that phone in your hand must have a picture of me.”

“How did you know?” I blink at him. I think he’s warming up to me. When we’re dismissed, Dr. Dunn gestures me over to him.

“I’m sorry about using my phone,” I say immediately.

“I graded your last assignment,” he says instead. “They won’t be posted on Canvas yet, but I wanted to give you yours.”

My eyes bulge. “A minus?”

“Highest grade in the course.”

Highest grade in the course. I can’t stop staring at the assignment, even as I walk to the rink. I snap a picture while holding the test beside my face, and send it to Scarlett without thinking. I panic, but then my phone buzzes.

Scarlett:Holy shit! Congrats, Kian! Dunn never gives A’s.

A breath of relief pours out of me. And then I do something I instantly regret. I text,Can we talk about last night?

My heart beats thunder under my jersey, but then she’s alreadycalling me. I answer on the first ring, but I barely say hello before her voice comes through.

“I’m so embarrassed.”

“Scar, you don’t need to be embarrassed.”

“I’m sorry. I just…I don’t want to complicate this, you know? I wasn’t thinking last night, and I know I didn’t say it, but you’re my best friend, too, Kian. I’ve only got one other, so this is important to me.”

I’m herbest friend. Somehow it feels like rejection and acceptance all at once. Those words alone do nearly as much damage as her kiss.

“And you know, you have your date with Cassie tonight. You should focus on that. It’s important.”

It’s like bullet holes in my chest with every word out of her mouth.

The guys walk into the locker room, and when I spot Cole, he hides behind Sebastian and a few of our other teammates. Dylan’s only back for a third of practices so he’s not here today. I haven’t been able to fill him in on anything, and it’s eating away at me.

I ignore the mention of the date. “You’re important.”

“S-so we’re okay?” Scarlett asks sheepishly. “I don’t want this to be weird.”

I’m about to answer when Kilner walks in, tapping his clipboard like he does before he tries to kill us during practice. “All right, listen up, boys.”

I’m figuring out how to whisper into my phone when his gaze zeroes in on me.

“No phones. Talk to yourgrandmalater, Ishida.”

We’ve used the grandma excuse so many times in the past, he doesn’t bother correcting it anymore. I put up two fingers, begging him for just a couple more minutes. He reacts as I expect.

“You want to be on the second line?”