Page 79 of Embrace

He argues for a minute before he nods, letting me out of the car to walk across the street to Iona. But the moment he sees me go inside and drives off, I’m out the door, heading straight to my car to drive to the hockey house.

The guilt churns in my gut.

It was my fault for touching him the way I did. For pleading something with my eyes that he shouldn’t give me. It was so easy to fall back into patterns I swore I’d outgrown. One look from him, one touch, and I practically clawed my way right back. It all falls down like dominos when I realize I may have ruined something good.

I’ve barely parked when I spot Cole coming down the steps.

“Is Kian home?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Boston. Said he was going to visit his mom? I asked to go with but he said she was at the hospital and didn’t want visitors.”

Hospital?The word punches the air right out of me before my body kicks into autopilot. I practically trip over my own feet, rushing to the car and peeling out of the driveway.

•••

I don’t rememberdeciding to go. I don’t remember thinking it through. But I’m here.

When I pay for parking at Boston’s Mass General, I head inside with only his last name and a lie that I’m a friend of the family. It doesn’t take much to get myself into the family waiting room.

My dry eyes search the area and instantly find him. Head hung low, elbows atop his thighs, staring at the ground. Kian looks up every few seconds, takes a breath, and shakes his head. His eyes are red-rimmed and exhausted. Suddenly, Halloween feels like another life. Something small and selfish compared to the storm unraveling around him now.

I hover for a second, my heart rattling against my ribs. “Kian?”

I slide into the seat beside him.

His arms wrap around me immediately, and he holds me there for a perfect six seconds. “How are you here?” he whispers.

I almost tell him that my dad mentioned he missed weight room. But that information stays tightly tucked away.

“Cole told me where you were. I didn’t know what to do so I just kept driving.” I shrug. “Is she okay? How come you’re out here?”

It’s like my questions transport him back to reality, and he leans back to rub a palm over his face. “She’s okay, still kind of out of it. She didn’t find it very helpful that I came to see her.”

“Kian, you still deserve to be here,” I say.

“Do I? They would be better off if I just left and focused on school like they’ve always wanted.” He nods. “I’m supposed to be studying and watching game tapes before the season opener. First game as captain, and I’m not even excited for it.”

My eyes sting. “But it’s a huge deal. If not anyone else, I’ll be cheering you on.”

His face brightens just slightly. “You’ll come?”

“What?”

“To the first game of the season. Would you come? I can get you seats.”

Oh God. I swallow, trying not to make this any harder on him. I know the answer is a lie before it even leaves my mouth. “Yeah, sure.”

Seeing the tiny smile on his face is like a fist squeezing my windpipe.

“Pip, you really didn’t have to come,” a woman chides, coming to wrap Kian in the tightest, longest hug. It’s like the ones he gives me. I realize it’s his sister, Kiyomi. She’s about my height, long black hair pulled into a bun, wearing blue scrubs under a peacoat.

She whispers to him in Japanese, then inspects his face like she could figure out if he’s been taking care of himself just from that alone. Her hands run over his hair, his face, his ears, and his hands. All worried and intense like a mother would. Doting. It makes me smile.

“Ki, come on. I’m fine,” Kian says, pulling away and turning her to me. “This is Scarlett.”

She stares between the two of us. “Your tutor?”

“Yeah.” I chuckle awkwardly. “I like to go above and beyond.”