Page 54 of Embrace

I reluctantly gesture for him to continue.

“I know sorry isn’t going to cut it. That letter was personal, and I should have stopped reading the minute I realized it was yours. Hell, I shouldn’t have opened it in the first place. That was a dick move, and I’m sorry that I made you feel like I’d forced you into being vulnerable before you were ready.”

I’m being stubborn, but for once I just wanted to feel what I felt without taking someone else’s emotions into consideration. But now, as Kian is being more sincere than anyone has been with me, I give a little. “I know you weren’t trying to be malicious. You don’t need to explain yourself to me. We have a deal, and that’s what we should be focusing on.”

“It’s not just about that.”

I furrow my brows. “Yes, it is. What else would it be?”

“You’re my friend, and I won’t let you pretend that’s not the truth.”

“But we agreed—”

“Forget the deal for one second. This is important.” His voice drops. “I don’t…I know what it feels like to not have someone to talk to about the bad shit. So maybe we can be that for each other.”

My thoughts tumble like Jenga blocks. He’s pulled out the block on the very foundation of why we’re even—whatever this is. Without that, I’m not sure what to call it.

“But we’re helping each other because of our deal.”

“I’m helping you because I like you.” Kian looks at me for so long, my breath shallows. “You are my friend. You are a person. Youdeserve respect, and anyone who doesn’t give it to you knows they’ll have to face me first.”

Every word he speaks tugs another pin from the fragile armor I’ve pieced together since meeting him. I’ve spent my whole life wearing my heart on my sleeve, and all it’s ever earned me is the same wound in different shapes. I wrote Victor letter after letter, pouring myself out on paper, and he never once responded. Even in my testimony, I told him I loved him, that I always would—but I couldn’t keep watching him hurt my mom. He didn’t even flinch.

“I’m not asking you to tell me everything. I’m asking you to let me be here, so when you want to share, it’s with me.”

Kian looks at me with those heartbreakingly innocent eyes, coaxing me to open up to him, not now but later. I have a feeling he’d wait however long it took.

“If you don’t want to hear anything, read it. I wrote you another letter since the last one didn’t reach you.”

It did reach me, and from the look on his face he knew it. When I went to the library a few days ago, Alice handed it to me. She insisted that I open it, but I couldn’t. He’d read all about my life, knowing more intimate things about me than any man I’ve slept with. That terrifies me.

He holds out another letter for me. It’s sealed in an envelope and the wordNonrefundableis written across it. I bite the inside of my lip, keeping myself from smiling. But I can’t help myself, so I open it.

Dear Scarlett,

If you’re reading this, that means this letter actually made it to you, which means you’re giving me a chance. There’s no excuse for reading something so personal, and I promise I didn’t mean to overstep. The last thing I’d want to do is hurt you, Scar. You’re my friend, and I take that relationship very seriously.

If you want space, I’ll give it to you. If you want words, I have more than I probably should. I’ll earn your forgiveness, I promise.

Eternally groveling,

Kian

I fold the letter carefully, smoothing the creases before sliding it back into the envelope. Kian doesn’t move, the quiet in his posture so deliberate it makes me wonder if he’s afraid to disturb whatever storm could be brewing.

When I finally meet his eyes, he’s still there, his gaze heavy with anticipation. He watches me like he regrets the letter. “I know it’s not much, but—”

“You can’t read people’s letters,” I say, my voice softer this time.

He crouches, tilting his face to mine so our eyes are level and leaning in just enough to fill my view. “Can you look at me?”

Those words make my chest feel like it’s imploding. Even in that small, intimate movement, there’s a weight to him, like an insistence that I see him.

His gaze softens, if that’s even possible, and he tucks some of my hair behind my ear. “I’m sorry. I’ll never do that again. I promise.”

“You shouldn’t make promises. Things change, you know.”

Kian shakes his head. “Not for me. I always mean it.”