Page 94 of Flickerstate

“Before that. At my old school, when teachers sat me apart from the other kids, and parents wrote a letter asking the principal to keep me out of the cafeteria.”

“They did that?”

“Yeah.”

I hate the thought: Candace alone, dying, surrounded by assholes. “That’s messed up.”

“But aren’t those the rules you’re following? I bet you broke up with Vik because of your bite, and you stopped hanging out with me and Bree, and you’re exiling yourself from public spaces. That means you think I deserved exile too.”

“It’s not the same. I—I had a death dream with him in it.”

Candace flinches. “You’re having the dreams already?”

I nod.

She breathes out hard. “Did he die in your dream?”

“I’m not sure,” I admit. “I was busy dying myself.”

“So it might not mean anything that he was there. Maybe he showed up in your dream because you think about him too much.”

“Hey,” I squeak. “Big assumption.”

“Uh huh. Anyway, it looks to me like you know how people treated me was wrong, but you’re treating yourself the same way, because you’re a self-hating control freak who thinks that everything is her responsibility and therefore everything is her fault.”

I open and close my mouth a few times. Then I deploy my snottiest tone: “Armchair psychology. Anyway, what, I should practice self-love and go get my man? Why do you care?”

“Because we’re friends,” she says simply.

My whole body turns to jelly with relief. “Yeah?”

“Sullivan, yeah.” Her forehead wrinkles. “Did you think I’d drop you after the trials?”

“No, but—the thing with Bree. You sent me afuck youtext and all.”

Her forehead smooths out. “I was pissed. I mean, you really need to apologize to her. Of course, now I know why you—”

“You don’t have to make excuses for me. You’re right. I was nasty; I need to apologize.”

Candace smiles with half her mouth. “Good. But now I have to askyou. If you’re so worried about being around crowds, how are you going to handle the formal?”

“Prayer, I guess.” I glance around. It’s getting lighter, shadows fading from black to gray. “Should we get out of here?”

“I don’t know. Are you going to insist on leaving one by one with three minutes in between? Or can we leave together like normal people?”

When I think about hiking up the path close to Candace, heavy branches hanging over her fragile skull, my brain fills with horrifiednope. But she thinks that if I avoid people because of my bite, I believe the same superstitions as the jerks who ostracized her.

I swallow. “Go ahead. I’ll be right behind you.”

When we break onto the grass that fringes the basketball courts, Candace spreads her arms like,Where’s the sudden death?But I can’t reason away my low-grade panic, lungs tight and face numb. I text Griffin,Okay yeah. When my phone buzzes seconds later, the unexpected vibration nearly sends my skeleton out of my skin.

Candace glances at me. “Griff?”

It is Griffin:Okay yeah what?

I thought it was clear from context, I text with shaky thumbs.Okay yeah I’ll go to the formal with you.

He replies quickly.It was clear, I just wanted it in writing.