Page 68 of Fire to the Stars

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “It wasn’t your fault.”

He nods weakly. “I guess it’s better for everyone if I take thisdeal.”

“You don’t want time to think?”

The words are out before I catch them. I cut a glance to Abel, but he waits patiently for Gérard to speak.

“There’s nothing to think about,” Gérard says eventually. “Diu made the decision for me.”

“Do you know where you want to go?” Abel asks. “Where you choose to die?”

“Jardincourt National Park—it’s just past the city center. I wanted to take Marie there, before…” He swallows and shakes his head. “I’d like that to be the last place I see.”

Abel nods. “Then that’s where I’ll slay you. Meet me at the station just after midnight on November twenty-third. I’ll have the Gendarmerie escort us there before dawn.”

Gérard fidgets with his cup as if expecting Abel to change his terms. But he doesn’t. Abel gives me the journal to store away, then closes his pack and rises, gesturing for me to do the same.

He tried to save Micah.

He questioned Hanna’s biases.

He refused Gendarmerie assistance for this meeting at risk of perpetuating his bad reputation.

My eyes close for a moment as I imagine my secret out in the open. No deceit. No lies. No sabotaging my way to dying first. Simply waiting, living easy until my final breath. Compared to my life over the last few months, it sounds like paradise.

“Live your last days to the fullest, Gérard,” Abel says, slinging his pack onto his shoulder. “I’ll take care of the rest.”

Unsure what to do next, I rise to follow him. A hand clasps my elbow, stopping me short.

“Wait,” Gérard rasps. “I want a word with you. Alone.”

Abel returns to intervene, but I place a hand on his chest, halting him. “It’s all right,” I say. “I feel terrible for trying to deceive him. I want to apologize.”

Abel’s stare moves from Gérard to me. His hand settles on my shoulder. Warmth flares beneath the fabric of my coat.

“Shout if you need me,” he says.

I want to lean deeper into the drug of his touch—that warmth we shared near the Tordou River. Instead, I manage a simple but convincing nod. He steps outside.

After a moment, Gérard breaks the silence. “He doesn’t know your secret, does he?”

“No.” I fold my arms, hiding the speck of blood on my sleeve. “Why didn’t you expose me?”

“There’s no reason to. If you’re sticking around him, it’s clear you’ve got a death wish.” He laughs bitterly. “What other option is there for us?”

“Are you really at peace with this arrangement?”

“No, but I get why it has to happen.”

There’s my answer. He doesn’t want to die.

Give him the sleep powder,I tell myself, thumbing the buckle of my satchel.Take his place and usurp Abel’s deal for yourself. This is what you want.

The storefront window reveals Abel standing outside with his back turned. Ever the gentleman, giving us privacy. I could cost him Hanna’s lead and he’d be none the wiser.

Oh. Oh,no.

Diu curse me twice for the selfish places my mind has been. What about Madame Afi? What about the extortion? In all my greed, I forgot that her life depends on Abel slaying Gérard. I’m a heartless, conniving, devious—