Page 109 of Fire to the Stars
“You always say two is a pattern,” I cry. “She was numbertwo.”
“You’re wrong.” Abel takes my cheeks in his palms, and it is my turn to cling to his hands. “You didn’t kill that cultist in Ravinfort. She had ice healing magic.”
“Icehealing?”
“She healed just like you do, except the wounds froze over. Their magic seems to mirror the dragon curse.”
My body melts with relief—then runs cold again. As much as I want that to make my guilt go away, the knot lingers in my stomach.
“Doesn’t one murder say enough about my moral compass?” I ask. “Diu chose me for a reason.”
“Whether it’s one or two, it doesn’t matter. The cultists committed far worse crimes than you did. If Diu didn’t curse them too, then there’s no way he chose you on the basis of greed. It must be something else.”
“Greed isn’t my only sin. What if Diu punished me for a different one?”
“What if it’s not about punishment at all?”
“That wouldn’t make it okay for me to survive! Ikilledsomeone!”
“Abel will still slay you if that is what you choose,” Marshal Payen interjects. “But every crime you committed can have purpose, if you see this investigation through to the end. You might even get answers from the Gods in the process.”
“Why would a gendarme trust a Diu-cursed criminal to lead them?” I whisper.
“Because this investigation is not about greed, nor faith. Here in Varsonne, where winter is harsh and prayers get us nowhere, we value facts. We seek evidence and prosecute the guilty not for the magic in their veins, but for the blood on theirhumanhands.”
“But Idohave—”
She lifts a silencing hand. “Whatever you had to do to survive,I don’t have a scrap of evidence. Expunge your guilt elsewhere. I asked you here to serve as our guide, nothing more. My goal is one thing only: Save Florent from the cultists.”
Lucy leaps onto my lap, eyes big and expecting. I hug her, too stunned to speak.
“You were punished for your crimes well before you committed them. You did your time,” Abel says. Once again, he takes my hand. “Don’t let the world tell you what you are. You’re not the thief. Diu robbedyou.”
The justification I told myself from the very beginning, thrown back at me. Those words weremydaily prayer. A promise to myself. I never believed anyone would agree with me.
“I’ve killed people too,” Abel says softly. “AmIirredeemable?”
I wipe my eyes. “Of course not.”
“Then neither are you. You’re allowed to fight for your life, no matter how small the odds.” He swallows. “It’s up to you.”
My heart squeezes so hard, I’m suffocating. He reallyhaschanged. He left the choice to pursue this tiny hope for a cure inmyhands.
I throw my arms around his neck and cling to him for dear life, as tightly as he clings to me. Even if this ends in my death, I’ll be right next to him, devoting my final days to helping the Gendarmerie make the realm a safer place.
“I’ll do it,” I whisper. “I want to fight.”
See death not as punishment.
—Parting words from Diu, War-Torn God of the Suns
Translated fromThe Tale of Stars (L’Histoire des Étoiles), Part III: The Age of Mortality
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Abel
The discussion of logistics snaps me back into professional mode.
