Page 76 of A Thousand Little Goodbyes

“But not you? She didn’t care how muchyouhurt?”

The question almost laid Chrissie out flat. Trust a child to cut straight to the heart of a matter and then stand by watching as the bleeding started.

Walsh’s hand came crashing down on Kat’s shoulder.

“I expect it’s a little more complicated than that. When you’ve been friends with someone as long as your mom and Scarlett have, there’s a lot of baggage that doesn’t get unpacked in time. Or at all.” He drew a deep breath and smiled down on them both. “Speaking of baggage, what do you say we find our room and get this poor cat settled in? We’re all a little worse for wear right now.”

“Yes. Yes of course.” Chrissie felt her cheeks flame as she realized her lapse. These three—four, if she counted Rufio—had been traveling for almost sixteen hours, and it showed. “I’m staying with Scarlett, but I booked you guys a separate cabin. It’s got a really pretty view of the Green Mountains, and you can walk to the stables from there. I asked,and they said you’re welcome to use as many of the amenities as you want. All they ask is that you respect the privacy of the other guests.”

Walsh nodded and started hoisting the suitcases. Kat looked far from happy to leave the conversation there, but she picked up Rufio and prepared to follow suit. Only Lily hesitated, one of her braids still dangling from her lips.

“I don’t like this place,” she announced. Like Kat, she was dressed in black leggings and a crop top—the chosen outfit of almost every volleyball player under the age of twenty—her expression one of mingled distaste and fear. “It’s weird. This whole thing is weird.”

Chrissie braced herself for Kat’s inevitable explosion, but her daughter only rolled her eyes and handed Lily the cat carrier.

“Yeah, well. I told you already. My family is weird. Wait until you meet my aunt Scarlett. She’s the only person I know who could throw a destination funeral and make it seem like the most natural thing in the world.”

Chrissie grimaced as she watched the two girls head up the gravel drive. Walsh made no move to follow them, his own expression heavier than she was used to seeing on him.

“I don’t think Kat’s fully processed what’s about to happen,” he said in a voice soft enough for only her to hear. “To be honest, I don’t know that Lily and I have, either. Far be it from me to critique your parenting choices, Chrissie, but are you sure you want her here for this? Or any of us? Your friend—”

“Is dying to meet you,” Chrissie said and gave a bitter laugh. “Sorry. Bad joke. But if you left now, I’m not sure I could get through this on my own, and she knows it. She won’t turn you away.”

“Chrissie…”

Chrissie shook her head and flung up a hand to keep Walsh from throwing aside the suitcases and pulling her into another of those warm, friendly hugs. She wanted one so much that it was a physicalache, but that kind of proximity was too dangerous. Until she talked to Kat, untilScarletttalked to Kat…

Well, it was too risky, that was all.

“Please don’t, Walsh. I know what you want to say—that Kat’s just a kid, that Scarlett should be allowed to die on her own terms, that there’s a good chance I’m ruining everything that’s left of my relationship with my daughter by dragging her here to be a part of this.” There was so much truth in what she said that she had to fight a wave of nausea before continuing. “The truth is, the situation is a little more complicated than I told you over the phone.”

Walsh hesitated, anxious lines starting to form behind the lenses of his plastic-rimmed glasses. “Complicatedhow?”

Chrissie drew a deep breath. This would be the first of many such confessions, and she wasn’t looking forward to any of them.

“Kat doesn’t know this yet, but I’m not her biological mother.”

She didn’t say the rest. There was no need. The puzzled anxiety that made Walsh look so endearing transformed first to surprise and then to understanding.

And then, as the full meaning sank in, pity.

“Oh,” he said. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Oh.”

Walsh took his time formulating his response, his mouth working as though testing the weight of his words ahead of time. “To be honest, Ididwonder after I saw Scarlett on one of our video calls. There’s something about the shape of her face and the way she carries herself. It’s almost like—”

“She’s never questioned her place in the world or what she wants out of it? Confidence oozes out of her pores and makes everyone around her feel inadequate?”

“I was going to say that she seems like a woman who’s used to getting her own way, but that works, too.” His lips twisted in a wrygrimace. “Kat’s going to be none too pleased when she finds out you’ve been hiding this from her. She’s putting up a brave front, but I think this news will hit her a lot harder than either of you anticipate.”

Chrissie believed it. “If you and Lily want to get out of here before the fireworks start, I won’t blame you one bit. Things are going to get worse before they get, well, even worse.”

Walsh glanced toward the retreating forms of the two girls before fixing his whole attention on her. Basking in it felt like basking in the full glory of the sun, but not in the same way she felt around Scarlett. Scarlett’s light was all-consuming and dangerous to the touch; Walsh’s was a beacon she could follow to any safe shore.

“You haven’t scared me away yet, Chrissie,” he said gently. “What makes you think I’m going to run now?”

* * *