Page 41 of A Thousand Little Goodbyes

Scarlett faltered over the last few words, her knees suddenly buckling as if under a massive weight—or a ball of tourist-trap twine. She staggered back two steps before both Chrissie and River caught her.

“Whoa, there,” Chrissie said as she half dragged, half carried her friend out of the gazebo. “Slowly, Scarlett.Slowly.”

“I’m fine,” Scarlett gasped, sounding anything but fine. She stiffened as if she wanted to cast Chrissie off but lacked the strength to go through with it. “Just put me down here. I’ll be fine once I catch my breath.”

From the look of it, Scarlett needed a lot more than a temporary infusion of oxygen. Her skin was pale, yes, but more than that, it was cold and clammy in a way that spoke of deeper and longer-lastingproblems. When added to the pharmacy she was carrying around in her purse and how tired she’d been looking on this trip, Chrissie was ready to call it.

“That’s it,” she announced. “We’re taking you to the doctor. Something’s not right.”

“I’m okay, Chrissie.” Scarlett still spoke in that failing voice, but there was an underlayer of iron she recognized well. “I’m just having a dizzy spell, that’s all. I think there’s some kind of solvent in parts of that twine. I got too close and inhaled it.”

Chrissie managed to drag Scarlett to a nearby bench. As she sagged gratefully and gracelessly down onto it, River and Chrissie shared a look that said everything they were both thinking—namely, that neither one of them had detected a hint of solvent.

“Scarlett, don’t. You’ve always been a terrible liar.”

Scarlett passed a hand over her eyes, but her breathing was already growing steadier. She even managed a shaky laugh, though it contained little humor. “That’s not true. I’m an amazing liar. You’re just the one person who always sees right through me.”

“Should I call an ambulance or something?” River asked from where she stood back a few paces. She was watching the scene with a strange expression. “I didn’t want to say anything earlier, but if you’re taking—”

“No.” This time, there was nothing shaky about Scarlett’s voice. “I don’t need a doctor, and I definitely don’t need an ambulance. For crying out loud, you two. From the way you’re reacting, you’d think I cut out my own kidney. I’m just tired, that’s all. I haven’t been sleeping well.”

This, Chrissie remembered with a twinge of guilt, was true. Part of it she ascribed to Scarlett’s natural antipathy to sleep, but she also suspected sharing a room with her had something to do with it. Scarlett had been a lone, roving wolf for so long that she probably found it difficult to sleep next to the natural sounds of another human being.

“We’re finding somewhere to park for the night, and that’s nonnegotiable,” Chrissie said. “We’ve been pushing too hard. What we need is a real hotel—not one of your weird roadside attractions—with room service, a swimming pool, and with any luck, no sign of a piano anywhere.”

“That should be easy enough.” River pulled out her phone and, in the manner of tech-savvy teenagers everywhere, found what she was looking for in less than twenty seconds. “There’s a chain hotel with spots available about fifteen minutes away. It’s only got three stars, but—”

“It’s perfect,” Chrissie said as she took the phone and started to make the reservation. “Get the car and bring it as close as you can. The sooner we’re in our pajamas and ordering an ungodly amount of french fries, the better.”

Chapter FourteenPortland, OR

2008

If Scarlett could go the rest of her life without seeing, talking to, or evenhearingthe name Grimshaw Pemberly, she’d have signed up on the spot.

“Grimshaw thinks we should skip his prom,” Chrissie said as she sat at the piano in her living room, her fingers flying over the keys. Although Scarlettlikedto listen to Chrissie practice, and would have been the first to defend her friend’s massive talent to anyone who questioned it, this wasn’t how she’d normally choose to spend a gorgeous day just a few weeks before school let out.

Being cooped inside with a piano was one thing. But a piano and talk of Grimshaw?Hard pass.

“Of course he does,” Scarlett muttered. She was draped over the arm of a too-white couch, flipping through an architectural magazine that showcased dozens of houses identical to this one.

“I kind of wanted to go—dress-shopping and a fancy dinner and all that—but Grimshaw says it’s just another example of society forcingus to focus on frivolity so we don’t see the political dangers looming on the horizon.”

Ugh.Was thereanythingfun that Grimshaw didn’t consider a political ploy undertaken by the hands of a shadowy Man waiting in the wings?

Since it was impossible to keep the bitterness out of her tone, Scarlett waited for a particularly thunderous chord before asking, “And what do you think? You have just as much of a right to enjoy your life as he does.”

Chrissie’s playing didn’t stop as she considered her response. Scarlett would have liked to point out that any sixteen-year-old who could play Stravinsky with her eyes closed deserved to go to a thousand proms with a thousand better boyfriends, but there was no point.

Chrissie was impervious to all of Grimshaw’s affected, brooding flaws. When he got up on his libertarian soapbox, she stood by to listen to all the ways deregulation would save the world. When he wanted to skip Friday night football games to go to poetry readings or study the lyrics of indie folk records instead of doing, you know, literally anything else, she was right there in step with him.

It was enough to make a best friend scream.

“I think he’d have a lot more fun than he realizes, but it won’t break my heart to skip prom as a junior.” Chrissie glanced at Scarlett with a smile that made her stomach feel tight. “I’d much rather wait until next year when you and I canbothgo.”

And there it was. The tightness in Scarlett’s stomach turned to a lump.

When it came to boys, jealousy wasn’t a good look on a best friend. In her heart of hearts, Scarlettknewthat—and if Chrissie had fallen for anyone else on the planet, she’d have curled up next to her green-eyed monster and enjoyed a Friday night on her own without complaint.