Page 91 of Puppy Christmas

But he gave it to her anyway. “At least I was good for a few things in the meantime, right?” he said. “Laughs and af-u-c-k? The real dynamic duo?”

She held a hand to her head, unable to stop the sudden whirling that was threatening to pull her under. “Could you please stop that for five seconds?”

“What? Laughing? Orf-u-c-k—”

This time, she really did stamp her foot. The action did nothing to make her feel any calmer, and probably made her look like a fool in the bargain, but she had to do something to ground herself, to keep herself from spinning out.

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” she hissed. “You can’t stand there and pretend to be the most honest man in the world, or act like this is all inside my head. Maybe you told the truth about some things, but not everything.”

His whole body stilled, the smile falling from his lips. He looked to be about as old as Emily—and twice as vulnerable.

“Everything, Lila,” he said. “Every last word.”

It wasn’t fair. When he spoke so earnestly like that, a plea underscoring his voice and shining in his eyes, she actually believed him. That he loved her and that he had from first sight, that she was his whole world and always would be. But she knew better.

“What about Seattle?” she asked. “What about the fact that you’re going to pack up your entire life and leave, and you never once thought to tell me about it?”

She had the doubtful satisfaction of seeing the dashing Ford Ford at a loss for words. He opened his mouth and closed it again several times in succession, almost as though his vocal cords had been cut clean through. Her own throat felt equally raw.

By the time he did find his voice, his words weren’t the ones she’d been hoping to hear. “How did you find out about that?” he asked.

No denial. No apology.

He’s leaving.

“Does it matter?”

“To me, yes.” Ford paused just long enough to come up with the answer on his own. “Dammit. It was Patrick, wasn’t it?”

Lila could only give a helpless shrug. The source of the information didn’t matter nearly as much as the fact that he wasn’t denying it—not even a little. Even that curse had been uttered without heat or violence. It was more weary resignation than anything else.

“You saw him? When?”

The timing seemed much less important than the fact that Ford and Emily were about to exit her life as easily as they’d come into it, but she indulged him anyway. “A few nights ago. Don’t blame him for it. He thought I knew already.”

“I see,” Ford said slowly.

She doubted it. If this man knew even a fraction of what was going on inside her heart right now, he wouldn’t hold himself aloof like that. He’d whisk her into his arms and promise to stay forever. He’d tell her that not even a trip to the North Pole could keep them apart.

“So it’s true?” she asked hollowly. “You and Emily are moving? How long have you known?”

“The job offer came in not long after the puppy training started. It’s a good opportunity—a great one, in fact. I was lucky to get it.”

Bullshit, she wanted to say. The company would be lucky to have him. All of Seattle would be lucky to have him. She might not be so deluded as to consider him perfect—no one was that—but he was an amazing artist and an even better man.

Unfortunately, it was impossible to say any of that while he stood there looking at her like that. “Congratulations” was all that came out of her mouth.

“Thank you,” he said with an obvious lack of enthusiasm. “It’ll be good for Emily, too. Bigger schools, better hospitals, the whole show. She deserves more out of this life than what I’ve given her so far. I only wish—”

What he wished would forever remain a mystery. Lila would have liked to say that he’d been leaning toward sweeping her into his arms and begging her to go with him, or even just asking her to tackle a long-distance relationship, but that wasn’t what his face said. His face said that any love he felt for her was secondary to his work, that his daughter must—and should—come first.

The worst part was, she couldn’t fault him for it. In fact, she downright admired him. One of her favorite things about this man was his dedication to his daughter, the way he’d built an entire life with her at the center. It was exactly what she’d done for her sisters—what she would do for them a thousand times over, should they need it.

“Daddy, I’m all done with my call.” Emily burst into the living room heedless of the somber note that had taken over. “Mommy said she only has a few more minutes, so you hafta hurry.”

“Okay, moppet.” Ford signed his thanks and turned to Lila with a wince. “I have to take this call. This is one of my only chances to talk to Janine, and I need to tell her about—”

He broke off suddenly, but there was no need for him to finish. He had to tell his ex-wife about his upcoming move. He had to make arrangements for his family, for his future, and Lila was only in the way.