Page 90 of Puppy Christmas

Lila could only watch, slightly bewildered, as Emily pulled a stool up to the computer desk in the kitchen and Ford settled her on it. Both of them seemed to have forgotten Jeeves’s attack, all fears of the animal pushed aside to make way for the incoming video chat. Lila was profoundly curious what the woman looked like, but she was careful to keep out of sight in the living room. Some intrusions into this family she wasn’t willing to make. Meeting the woman who’d once captured Ford’s heart was one of them.

Still, she couldn’t help a quick peek into the kitchen as Emily’s squeal of delight sounded. Her glance wasn’t nearly long enough to allow her to make out all the woman’s features, but what she saw was a young, attractive blond with Emily’s adorably pert nose and a pair of wire-rimmed glasses perched at the end of it.

“They should chat for at least half an hour,” Ford said as he returned to the living room. “Reception on Ellesmere Island is tough this time of year, and Emily can’t make out half the things she says, but they like to be in the same room together, figuratively speaking.”

“Ellesmere Island?” Lila echoed, somewhat at a loss.

“The North Pole.” Ford grinned. “Themagneticnorth pole, that is. You have no idea how heartbroken Emily was when she finally realized there was a difference.”

“But…” Lila blinked. She was still floundering for her footing, but at least she couldseea path by this time. “I thought you were kidding. When you said she ran off to the North Pole to escape you, I assumed it was a joke.”

One of Ford’s brows lifted in a perfect arch. “I joke about a lot of things, I know, but my ex-wife isn’t one of them. She’s got another year there, and then who knows where they’ll send her. Somewhere equally remote, I’m sure. She digs core samples.”

“She digs core samples.” This one wasn’t uttered as a question. It was a statement, oddly flat as it escaped Lila’s mouth.

“I told you I’ve always had a thing for women who are above my reach.” Ford laughed and ran a hand over the back of his neck. “We met in college. I should have known, when I took her to the planetarium and she went on to recite the all names and locations of the nearest two dozen stars, that our paths had different endings.”

Lila had no response for this, either. She could have started parroting his words again, but she was too busy trying to process what he was telling her.

“We didn’t plan to have Emily—not so soon into our marriage and definitely not while Janine was still getting her doctorate—but the little sneak took us by surprise. Janine managed to hold on to domestic bliss for almost a year after Emily was born, but there’s not a whole lot of room for a family in the kind of places she works.” He smiled ruefully. “Whereas I, on the other hand, have nothing but room for family. My ambitions have always been a lot lower than Janine’s.H-e-l-l, if it comes to that, they’re lower than most of humanity’s.”

“Don’t,” Lila snapped.

Ford jumped at the sharp retort. “Oh,s-h-i-t. I’m sorry. Did you not want to hear about my ex? I have so little emotional attachment to her anymore, I forget that other people might think differently. It was rough at first, but I promise I don’t feel anything for her except a kind of lingering nostalgia. I’ll always be grateful that she gave me Emily, but that’s as far as our relationship goes.”

“Of course that’s not what I’m upset about,” she said. Considering the strange truce she and Patrick had just reached, she was hardly in a position to judge anyone’s relationships. “I wish you’d stop selling yourself short, that’s all. You don’t have low ambitions—and even if you did, so what? Not everyone needs to be in charge of running the world. You’re good at a lot of other things.”

His startled look turned to one of melting interest. “Oh, really? Like what? I’d love to hear your thoughts on my various…skills.”

“And if you turn this into as-e-xthing again, I’ll never forgive you,” she added severely. “Ford, I didn’t know your ex-wife wasreallyin the North Pole. I thought you made that up to mess with me.”

“To mess with you?” His lips pulled down at the corners. “Why would I do that?”

Lila stopped. The answer should have been an obvious one.To get under my skin. To make me feel as though the world is tipped upside down. To ensure that this thing we have never goes beyond the line.

“That’s what you do, isn’t it?” she said, summing it up in one easy package. “That’s what you’ve always done.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on,” she said. “You know how you are. You laugh and you flirt and you make me feel like a teenager having her first crush, but you’re hardly a trustworthy source of information.”

He stared at her, the tightness back in his jaw. “That’s what you think? Even now? Even after we—?”

“Please don’t finish that sentence,” she interrupted. She didn’t think she could bear to hear him reduce their time together to a four-letter word. Not like this. “I’m right about this—you know I am. Half the things you say to me are utter nonsense. You told Helen you fell for me the first time we ever met, for crying out loud.”

“That’s because I did.”

“Ford.” She was perilously close to stamping her foot at him. “You did not. You’re still trying to mess with me, trying to throw me off-balance. That sort of thing doesn’t happen in real life.”

“It’s no use telling me it doesn’t happen, because itdidhappen.” For a man asserting his love for her, Ford looked an awful lot like he was about to accuse her of perfection and throw her out the door. “I’m George Washington, remember? I cannot tell a lie.”

She could only blink at him.

“I told you that you’d realize it someday. I just assumed it would be a happy realization.” His laugh was bitter, his smile self-deprecating. “From the look on your face right now, I guess I was wrong. I know I’m not perfect enough for you, but I always thought—”

And there it was. That word. That insult. Lila’s heart gave a plummeting lurch before stopping cold.

“Don’t,” she warned. She couldn’t take that again—not from him, not like this.