Page 26 of You'll Be Sorry

She left the boys to their antics, heading upstairs to engage in some quality time with a sledgehammer. After her little meltdown, she deserved her own version of stress relief.

When she finally removed her protective eye gear, Theo was calling from downstairs.

“Introducing the new and improved…Mr. Man,” he sang out.

She descended to discover one wet dog and one even wetter human dripping in the middle of the great room.

“Absolutely not.”

Theo and Mr. Man exchanged nervous glances.

“While I appreciate a big reveal as much as the next HGTV addict, this before and after is much better suited for the front porch.”

Now Theo and Mr. Man exchanged confused glances.

“No puddling inside the house!”

That did the trick.

Dog and human hastily retreated outside. Raquel followed. Shepromptly showered them with praise, as it was a pretty spectacular makeover. Mr. Man had a gorgeous pale coat, adorable floppy ears, and a trim torso. Her husband was also devilishly handsome with his slicked-back hair and clinging wet shirt.

“Be still my beating heart,” she assured them.

They wagged their tails, one literally, one metaphorically.

“Dinner?” she inquired.

More tail wagging.

“All right. I got a plan. Theo, you might need some human washing up. Canine Opportunist, you stay outside till you’re dry. Then, we’ll talk.”

“No worries,” Theo stage-whispered to his compatriot. “I already moved your dog bed up to the bedroom.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Raquel regarded her husband with a steely gaze. “I allow only one animal in my bed. Pick wisely.”

Mr. Man bowed his head. “Sorry, bro,” Theo informed him.

“Though at these temps, it makes sense for all life-forms to sleep inside,” she allowed.

And just like that, they were back to their happy-go-lucky selves.

“Beware turning into a homeless mongrel,” Raquel advised her husband.

“Can I be a crossbreed? That would drive my mother nuts.”

Which of course made her laugh. “All right, both of you, shoo shoo. We have our missions.”

Raquel was searing two chicken breasts when Theo reappeared.

“Where’s Mr. Man?”

“Definitely not in the kitchen,” she assured him.

“He’s not on the porch.”