Page 108 of You'll Be Sorry

“No.”

“Is this the part where you say not because you didn’t trust me, but because you didn’t trust yourself?”

“Would that make a difference?”

Theo’s gaze remained focused out the front window, where their trio of unexpected guests had taken off in a hurry. From way too loud to way too quiet in sixty seconds or less. Theo had his back to her, hands on his hips, while Raquel stood several feet away.

From the first moment she’d met this man, he’d felt like a magnet to her. In a very literal way, they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other. She’d always assumed eventually that would fade, and the relationship with it, like the passing of a storm. But this moment right now, when she stood beside her husband with an enormous gulf suddenly yawning between them…

The dog whined softly. She dug her fingers into the scruff of his neck, whether to comfort him or herself she didn’t know.

Theo finally turned around. His expression was impossible to read.

“You’re a murderer.”

“Yes.”

“Your own mother.”

She shrugged, forced herself not to look away.

“Did you go to prison?”

“Given the circumstances, my lawyer was able to negotiate a deal. I went to a specialized state facility. Prison-like, I would argue, but not prison prison. I spent two years ‘doing the work’—group sessions, one-on-ones, journaling, painting, music-ing. It’s impressive the number of therapies specialists believe have value.”

“And you? Did you find it valuable?”

“Well, I haven’t killed anyone since. What, too soon for jokes?”

Theo gave her a disappointed look. She found herself flushing.

“You said yourself you knew I was keeping secrets.” She threw up her hands. “Now you know the truth. Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me? Especially…these days.”

She knew what he meant. How could she not? Sex might start to form a bond, then love forge an even deeper connection. But mourning the loss of a child, that kind of shared grief…Forget trauma-bond. They had drowned together, fallen all the way to the ocean floor, then, bit by excruciating bit, worked their way to shore, propping each other up exhaustedly along the way.

“I’m not like other people,” she confessed.

He waited.

“I don’t have a moral code, that proverbial this is the line I’d never cross. I don’t even understand the sentiment. When it comes down to a matter of survival, your own, the people you love, who the hell cares about ethics? You do what needs to be done. I’ve never regretted killing my mother; I only wish I’d done it sooner.”

“Your mother truly did everything Betty said, to you and your siblings.”

“And more.” Raquel’s lips twisted. “My lawyer didn’t secure my deal based just on the horror show that was our childhood, though. The number of people who knew and didn’t act, including the sheriff’s department, tipped things in my favor. Not that it helped Lilly and Charlie Boy.”

“That’s the land you own.”

“Yes.”

“Do you ever visit?”

“No.”

“Because…you’re not like other people?” He regarded her curiously. “And yet you secured and now safeguard their final resting place. Maybe you’re more sentimental than you think.”

“You’re very sweet in your optimism.”