Page 5 of Laying Low

Dean: I don’t remember the pneumonia, but the last secret *I* knew about was unregistered black market electronics equipment in Mom and Dad’s den.

Prock, Val, Laure, Sal: I’m sorry, whut?

Anthony: You know about that?

Dean: Bailey told me.How did you all think Reg found Marcus, Bird, and me in the desert?

Chance: Luck.

Sal: You little shit.You didn’t tell us?

Chance: We had OTHER THINGS to worry about, did we not?Dean almost DIED!

Sal: Don’t get touchy, Junior—my respect for you grew three sizes today.Anything else we should know about?

Anthony: Just throwing this out there—Chance brought home a ball python named Muffin before he left for school, and it immediately escaped.Reg thinks it’s in the underground passageway linking the SCIF in the den to the mother-in-law cottage where Bailey’s dad lives now, but we didn’t want to alarm anybody.

Chance: MUFFIN!

Laure: Muffin?

Dean: OMG!Did you tell Marcus?Remember he lives in the basement now!

Sal: You know, I did not see that coming.Prock, did you?

Prock: Is the snake okay?Seriously—I love snakes.Is the snake okay?

Side Channel: Anthony and Val

Val: I won’t point out to the others that you just threw Chance and his snake under the house to avoid telling us Reg’s secret.

Anthony: Please, Val?I get that you worry—I can see why.But he’s got so very little that’s his own.

Val: No, I get it.And I’m rooting for you here, kid.But don’t forget.

Anthony: Forget what?

Val: It doesn’t matter how or why, but if Reg’s secret comes back to bite Reg on the ass, YOU WILL ASK US ALL FOR HELP.Because we do that for each other.You’ve seen it in action.

Anthony: Understood, Val.

Val: Is there really a secret underground passage under the house?

Anthony: Yes—it’s about three times as wide as a coffin and three feet high.And the concrete sweats where it skirts the swimming pool.

Val: Absolutely no good can come of that.

Anthony: Reg lined it with electric lanterns and packed in supplies and a portajohn in case we have to start an underground railroad for people escaping wrongful prosecution and imprisonment from the government.

Val: I stand corrected.Welcome to the family, kid.Take care of our boy.

Anthony: Yessir.I’ll try.

Showing the Depths of One’s Soul

“HOW’S ITlook, Ms.Barerra?”Reg asked hopefully.His old art teacher, still a sultry stunner although now in her late forties, surveyed the displays of student—and teacher—art on the cork boards and makeshift shelves throughout the battered high school cafeteria and gave him a radiant smile.

“Oh, Reg—it looks amazing.You really do have an eye for arranging everything.”Her eyebrow rose.“But I noticed you tried to hide your own pieces by the bathroom.What was our agreement?”