Page 26 of Dull
Is it?Really?
She couldn’t help but imagine her sister’s voice.For a second, Clarissa just stood there, looking across at her husband, as she thought about how pissed off her sister would be at the life she’d lived.The fact she would lock herself away and refuse to speak.She became a shell of her former self.She allowed herself to be controlled and manipulated.
Lorenzo turned to look at her, and she noticed his cock had lost its arousal.He was flaccid.
“This is not about you.You can go and do whatever you want.I’ll see you in a bit.”
The old Clarissa would turn on her heel, go and sulk back into her sewing room, and not give this another thought.That was the Clarissa that didn’t want to make waves or be a nuisance.The same woman who was afraid of losing everything.Clarissa knew what it was like to lose everything, and she also knew what it was like to be pushed aside by Lorenzo, as well as treated like a friend.She was not going to allow herself to be pushed into a corner.
“No,” Clarissa said.“Giving me an orgasm pushes you to drink, is that it?”
She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him.Inside, there was a part of her telling her to go back to her sewing room, because this was not her place.She needed to retreat.
Lorenzo turned toward her, and she saw she’d surprised him.
If he hurt her, she would need to know that now.Although, he had never so much as raised a fist to her.
“What?”he asked.
“You give me my very first orgasm, which is what I assume I just experienced besides you telling me, and now you’re drinking.I think it is a fair assessment to say my arousal pushes you to drink?”she asked.
Her heart raced.It was the first time she had stood up to fight for herself, and she squared her shoulders and looked right at him.
“Why are you angry?”he asked.
Was he expecting her to step down?To not take him to task about what happened.She was not going to back down.Not now, not ever.She glared at him.
“You left.You gave me an orgasm and just left.Is that how it is going to be?Unless you get an orgasm, that is it, end of discussion?”she asked.
He looked shocked.
“You want more?”
“I don’t want you to run away and just leave me like that.You’ve made me feel like I’ve done something wrong.Did I do something wrong?”
He cupped her face and pressed his head against hers.Clarissa put her hands on top of him, not knowing what to do, she felt so lost.She closed her eyes, trying to make sense of what had happened between them.Nothing made sense to her.
“You did absolutely nothing wrong.I did.I’m the fuckup.”
“What?”
“I’m the one with the experience here.I’m the one that should have known what to do.Our wedding night was a complete and total disaster.”He shook his head, and Clarissa didn’t let go, even as he went to pull away.
“What about now?”she asked.“Our wedding night feels so long ago, what caused you to pull away now?Today?Tonight?”
“I’m not good enough for you, Clarissa.The way you came apart in my arms, it was the first real orgasm I’d given you—”
“And now you want to give up?”Clarissa asked.
He stopped and frowned.
“Do you have any idea how amazing that was?”she asked.“I’ve never felt any of those things with anyone.I ...words can’t even begin to describe just how amazing that was.”She offered him a smile.“You don’t see me running away, and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing here.Remember, you weren’t supposed to marry me.”
“Stop that,” he said.
“I don’t give a fuck who or what I was supposed to marry.You’re mine, Clarissa.Mine for the rest of our lives.”
She stroked her hands down to his chest, and she didn’t know when or how she felt so bold, but she went onto her tiptoes and pressed a single kiss to his lips.It was just one kiss.Just a small taste of what they could eventually have.She pulled back and smiled up at him.
