Page 46 of Knot As It Seems

How Edric walks around the house scowling but spends an hour every night trimming flowers and weeding his garden, or how Jos is always looking up new recipes to introduce me to new flavors. Quietly I think he just enjoys hand feeding me. And Calloway…prettier hair than me, but loves to pull me aside at any given chance so he can spin me around and dip me, always leaving me breathless from the simplest yet sweetest of kisses.

Little moments with all of them, proof that I’m not crazy for thinking we were creating something real. And then we get to Moon. He’s the one that’s never relinquished his hate for me, the one that got us into this mess. If it weren’t for him being so stuck on his own self-righteousness, then who knows if the alphas my sister was working with would have ever gotten the chance to try and nab me. They wouldn’t have been able to hurt me, I wouldn’t have had to flee here, and perhaps I’d be tucked up in that mostly bare nest I have yet to fully assemble, finally feeling ready to make it mine.

Maybe I’d be opening all the beautiful packages that Calloway bought for me my first night with them, things he saw and wanted me to have so I’d be comfortable, becausehe’s the kind of alpha that finds those things important.

I don’t realize I’m shaking until I’m spilling water all over my lap, having quite forgotten that I still had it in my hands. The nurse takes it from me and the monitors behind me start going haywire, my system reacting to my distress.

I feel a full-blown meltdown washing over me, worse than I’ve had in a long time. My neck hurts, my bites are leaking something warm down my neck, and suddenly all I want is to be surrounded by capable, strong bodies that do nothing but touch me in good ways and help me heal. Oh gods, I made a mistake. How could I have thought I didn’t want their bonds, when those connections are the main reason I’ve finally been able to live a life worth experiencing?

Hyperventilating, but unable to stop. Eyes squeezed shut because the lights are too bright in here. My body is too hot. My belly twists, sending fire through my entire torso, and dread fills me because I’ve felt this pain before. I can only pray to the gods it’s a small heat spike, a result of my system trying to re-balance, because the alternative is unthinkable. I cannot go into heat right now. I don’t know if I’ll survive it alone, and I don’t know if I want my alphas here even if they’d be allowed to.

Someone grabs my hand, grounding me, but it's the wrong hand and I don’t want it touching me. It doesn’t have the right callouses, the right fingernail shapes, the strength that I need.

“Okay okay, she’s going into a trauma-induced heat now, I guess. Fable, honey, we’re going to try and even you out sweet girl, but you might be too far gone to benefit fromwhat I’m legally allowed to give you since you’re bonded.”

A wail escapes me because nothing is ever easy.

Coolness swells through me as something is injected into my arm, a needle I didn’t even register was there, but it’s only temporary; within minutes, the heat doubles, stealing my breath from my body and making the bones in my pelvis feel like they’re being finely ground while my body is lit on fire.

Further activity in the room is hard to track, but Dr. Brenda gets right in my face, breaking through the haze with an alpha bark I wish I didn’t react to. “I need you to help me, okay? Tell me which alphas you can clear, which alphas we need to hold accountable for this situation. They can’t come to you until the police are sure they weren’t the ones that chased you down and beat you black and blue. This isn’t going to get any better until you do that for me. Give me the first initial of their name, anything. Which alphas do we need to keep in custody so they can answer to their mistreatment of you?”

My eyes are half-lidded, my neck unable to really support my heavy head. What is she asking? Which alphas…alphas…alphas hurt me? No. Not mine. No. Mine are safe. I need them. A moment of clarity strikes me the next time my heat wave dips, leaving me sweating and shaking, weaker than I was.

I look to the doctor, who’s still waiting for an answer. Right. She needs to know… “Wasn’t my alphas that did this. It was a pack my sister promised me to, without my consent or knowledge. Moon thought…it doesn’t matter. I know he believes me now. His face…he was panicking. He’s going to be mine. They’re all mine. He’s just going to have to fucking deal with it. Where are they? Can I have them?”

I start crying then because my arms are too empty, my body too cold in the wake of the heat cutting off instantly.

I let my eyes close, let my body feel and be present, and even though it hurts everywhere, it’s still functioning, and that’s about all I can expect of it.

Twenty-Two

Step up to the plate and the world will be at your feet. Make enough money and your omega will be happy in her home. Don’t bog down your pack with your inane problems and things will run smoother. Save face whenever possible, keep everything shiny, and life will be easy.

Nothing is easy. Nothing is smooth. Everything is fucking falling apart, and it feels as if it all rests on my shoulders, even though I have an entire pack, suffering right along with me.

No one is beating themselves up worse than Moon right now, sitting in our cell with a bloodied face he’s not been allowed to clean and clothes that give further proof to the activities a few days ago. Getting him out of the pack feels like the only possible way out of this, and we’re all in our heads, trying to get ahead of how badly it’s going to hurt to tear that bond. We won’t do it without consulting our omega first though, because she’ll feel echoes of it through us and we can’t put that on her after everything Moon just forced her to go through.

Staring off into space the way I am, I don’t register that there’s a police officer at our cell door until he’s unlocking it. “You guys are good to go; The Omega Center has cleared you of any wrongdoing. Grab your stuff from the registration desk and you can head up the block to where your omega is. Good luck.”

The iron bars slide fully open with a loud clack, echoing across the cement of the walls and floors. None of us move for a good twenty seconds, because we were all pretty convinced that Fable would hold us accountable for her ending up at the hospital, even if she’s there mostly for protection and recovery. Why would she want us out though?

It doesn’t matter. Not really. If she cleared us, that means we need to go to where she is and find out what she needs the most right now so that we can provide it.

Keep things shiny and light and your omega won’t feel burdened.

If I could burn the memories out of my head, all the lessons my family etched into me from a young age, I’d do it without a second thought. I tried to be superficial with Winslow, and all it ended with was her not giving a shit about me. I lasted all of maybe four hours with Fable before I gave up, because all I wanted to do was hold her and make sure she had all of me.

I leave my pack to gather our things because I just need to get to wherever my omega is so I can put her in my arms and then keep her there. I need to see her for myself, to make sure that the alphas we’re going to sue the fuck out of didn’t cause any permanent damage.

Well, any more permanent. It’s highly possible we’ll walkin and she’ll throw us out. I would if the roles were reversed. What kind of alphas let their omega get into a situation where she’s potentially kidnapped and it’s the fault of one of your bonded pack members? We weren’t given many details while we were locked up for the past few days, but I’m so damn proud of her for getting away and getting herself somewhere safe.

“Can I help you?”

I blink at the soft lights and the scent neutralizers being pumped into the small cushy room, trying to remember how I even got myself here. Did I walk the few blocks on autopilot? Was I so zoned out that I don’t remember a single thing from the walk?

“Fable. Please,” I rasp, grabbing onto the counter.

The receptionist, a beta in scrubs that’s currently wrinkling her nose at me, consults something in her notes before meeting my eyes again. “We need all of you. And I cannot allow you to meet up with your omega looking like that. You’ll frighten her further and she needs stability right now. Where is the rest of your pack?”