Page 13 of Honey, I'm Home

I don't want to cross boundaries by climbing into her bed without permission, so I'm trying to think of another way to wake her up without freaking her out too bad. I don’t want to give her a jump scare or anything. It's dark in here, and she won't be able to see me too well since I'm also pretty dark.

Maybe a foot massage? That feels like a good way to wake up, yeah?

She's a pretty tall girl, so her feet aren't some dainty things that feel as if they'll break between my palms, and her purple toenail polish is mostly chipped but still charming.

I dig into her arches and call her name again, running the backs of my nails up the front of her legs, just below her knee, hoping that something will do the trick.

Eventually, she starts to really stir, sitting upright and looking around her. Her hand immediately flies to her head, and I imagine she's pretty confused.

“Hey, sorry to wake you. I just really wanted to see you without anybody else to bother us. If that's not okay, I'll leave right now.”

Her body freezes at my soft voice, and then she flops back on the bed with her arms rising up beside her head. “Oh, it's you. How'd you get— oh, the window. What time is it?”

“Just about two. I’ll let you get back to sleep soon, I just felt like I couldn't go another night without trying to talk to you.”

She reaches for her side lamp and sits up a little, tucking her feet underneath her before grabbing a pillow to hug, yawning as she does. “What’s up? You having a problem with the house?”

I scoff. “You know we fixed that up for you, right? I know there's no way you saw every single finish you picked out for yourself and thought we miraculously happened to create it. You have to know we're high-level stalkers by this point.”

She gasps, covering her mouth. “I knew it! There’re too many coincidences. I just felt crazy accusing you. How did you even find all the stuff I pinned? Aren't privacy settings a thing?”

“You shared a link with us once, like maybe our senior year of high school? When we were planning Anderson's 18th birthday. Remember, your parents gave us full control, and you wanted to share some things you thought he'd like. We found some of your other stuff on there, thought it was cute, and we've been following it ever since.”

“But why? That's just where I put stuff when I need to waste time. It’s just inspiration, nothing serious.”

“... So, you don't like the house?”

She gets up on her knees, leaning over to me a little. “Dev, why are you actually here?”

Screw it. “Because I'm obsessed with you and I'm dying to kiss you. I know we freaked you out earlier, I know we come on strong, we just want you at our level. You belong with us, Aster. Everything we do is to get your attention. That's why they act so dumb. All they want is attention from you.”

She processes this for a moment. “Huh. Yeah, that actually explains a lot.”

“Is that a yes or no on the kissing thing?”

“I can't tell if you're serious or not.”

The boundaries thing isn't working so well for me right now. Time to cross some.

I encroach into her space, making her back up on the bed. “Why don't we talk about why you actually left Trash Haven in the first place?”

She seems at a loss for words at first, grappling. “To get an education. You know this.”

I tilt my head and think about that. “You see; I'd have an easier time believing that if the last couple of months of your senior year you hadn't been talking about distance learning. You used to talk about how you’d never leave Trash Haven. You’d go on about how you never wanted to live anywhere else. What changed? It didn't have anything to do with your birthday by chance, would it?”

She lets out a sound of frustration. “How dare you throw that in my face. That was so long ago I don't even remember. I certainly didn't let that affect my whole future, whatever it is you're talking about.”

“Try again, baby.” I get closer again, holding myself right on top of her now. She looks away, trying to avoid this conversation, but I tilt her head back to face me.

She studies my face for a minute, eyes traveling back and forth between mine. It's not long before they start to get a little watery. She sucks in a deep breath, ready to talk; something that probably should have happened immediately, instead of however many years later it is now.

“Okay, let's talk about it then. Let's talk about the fact that I invited you guys to my birthday and made it clear how much it meant to me for you guys to be there. I put myself out there, and sure, maybe I could have been more direct and said it to your face instead of giving you a note, but you guys knew that turning 18 was a big deal to me, because it meant nobody could question me being with you. I'd be completely legal, and I could pursue you for real.

“I thought that's what was holding you guys back. There's no way I imagined all that tension. For fuck’s sake, I couldn't even be in the same room as you guys back then without automatically turning toward you, only to find that one or all three of you were already looking at me. You guys couldn't hold a conversation with anybody if I was in the room unless you looked at me every five seconds to make sure you knew where I was.

“And you guys slept over so often in Anderson’s room; I knowIdidn't write those cutesy notes I’d find tucked behind my toothbrush cup in the cabinet. I didn’t dream up standing next to you guys in the bathroom brushing my teeth, goofing off, only to end up splashing each other and laughing hysterically. So yeah, my birthday was a big deal because it was going to be the night everything changed.

“And you want to talk about why I never wanted to leave Trash Haven? Because you guys never wanted to leave Trash Haven. I was young and naive, and I built this whole story in my head about how we were going to settle down here, be together, eventually start a family. Maybe.