Page 40 of American Love Story

I could’ve handled that better.

There was no question about that. Half of the time I felt like I had no idea what I was doing whenever Easton was involved. Except that was a lie. I knew I wanted him, that whenever I was with him, I felt free and at ease. That he always left me wanting more. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself for much longer than it took to make us both come, and in the process, I kept hurting Easton.

I was about to go back to grading papers, which was what I’d been trying to do all morning, when a knock on my door shifted my attention off of my fuckboy nonsense. I glanced at the clock on the mantel and realized it was past noon already. It had to be Ari. He’d gone to take Yin home, and he told me he’d be back so we could talk since we never got the chance yesterday.

As I moved to the door, I felt glad that I’d at least showered while Easton napped and wasn’t going to meet with my mentee after the weekend he’d had smelling like come.

I opened the door and found Ari looking better than he had last night. I went in to clap him on the back, feeling just a bit protective of him still. There was so much about how Ari carried himself that reminded me of myself. His stoic approach to things, his drive to “make things work” no matter what.

“Thanks for last night. Yin would’ve been up all night if I’d been at my uncle’s.”

It didn’t escape me that even after years of living there, Ari still didn’t call his uncle’s placehome. One more red flag to add to the pile when it came to that situation.

I sat on one end of my couch and looked at Ari as he typed out a text before pocketing his phone. “I stopped by OuNYe to tell Nesto. I didn’t want him to hear it from someone else.” He grimaced and fidgeted with the laces of his Adidas and when he looked up, he seemed a little embarrassed. “He said that maybeyou could help me figure out the immigration thing now. Things with my uncle are not going well, and I want to have a plan.”

And, of course, I was right back to Easton. I leaned against the cushions we’d been pressed against before making our way upstairs and, like an idiot, wondered if they still smelled like him.

I coughed a few times, trying to buy myself a moment, because I’d apparently lost the ability to eventalkabout Easton. “So I know Easton has a friend that does immigration work.” Now I felt like an ass for blabbing about Ari’s situation, but when I looked at him, he seemed to have perked up at the prospect of Easton getting involved.

“I trust Easton, he will find someone good.” I took a moment to let that sink in, to take in Ari’s faith in people’s goodness. His ability to give people a chance.

I nodded, holding in all the shit that was trying to spill out. “Okay, that’s good, I know he’d like to help.” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling like I needed to be honest. “He was over here this morning and I was still feeling a little heated about what happened to you last night. I told him.”

Ari dipped his head in acknowledgement but did not seemed bothered at all.

“You don’t mind that I told him?”

He shrugged and then smiled. “I trust you and Easton.” I wasn’t sure he was intentionally pairing us together or if he was just talking, but it seemed like my new thing was to read too much into everything whenever Easton was involved.

It felt weird bringing Easton into this—his job was already featuring in more than one unhealthy way in our relationship—but he also had offered and he would know what he could and could not do. I could let him know Ari was interested and let him decide what was the next step. Not that I even knew if he was still talking to me after I’d fucked him and then acted like an asshole.

My face felt hot, remembering how mortified Easton had looked walking out of my house, but if I had to grovel to get him to help Ari, I would. Although that was bullshit, too. I could not say much for sure, but I knew Easton would not go back on an offer to help Ari because he and I had a falling out. Between the two of us, the only fickle one was me.

“I just don’t want you to feel like I’m telling your stuff to people.” I really meant that, too.

Ari shrugged lightly but I could tell he was thinking hard on what I’d said. “Easton is a good guy, and if he wants to help me, I won’t say no. After that time at the detention facility, I learned that if there were people wanting to help me out, that I would never let my pride get in the way. I can’t deal with any of this on my own.” He lifted a hand in a gesture that seemed to say “What can you do?”

“If I could, I would’ve been out of my uncle’s house a long time ago. If Easton can help out, then I’m glad for it.”

Ari’s matter-of-fact tone made him sound much older than his twenty-one years. I thought that even though our stories were similar, in some fundamental ways, we were very different. Ari had made his passage to the States alone and had faced trials I never had to. He took the help that was offered to him gladly, learned to trust even when he had very little reason to do so. Which brought me back to Easton and how I kept pushing him away.

Ari’s soft laugh got my attention back to our conversation; he looked amused at whatever he saw on my face. “You look like I did all of last year when Yin was trying to convince me we should date and I kept telling myself it would never work. Are you and Easton having troubles?”

That brought me up short quick, “Easton and I aren’t dating.”

Another laugh and this one has a definite “bitch, please” ring to it.

“The way you look at each other certainly seems like you could be. Yin would be very unimpressed by you blowing a chance to date Easton.”

I laughed at that, remembering Yin’s very vocal opinions on Easton’s hotness. I could barely believe that I was so messed up about Easton that I was coming to my own mentee for dating advice, and yet here I was poised to spill my guts again.

“It feels too complicated with Easton’s job. I mean look at what happened with you yesterday. I can’t be with someone who is so connected to the system that allows these things to go unchecked.”

Ari ran a hand over his face as he considered what I’d said. After a long moment, he looked at me and asked, “Is Easton okay with the stops?”

The intense “no” that bubbled up in my chest surprised me. “No. He’s not okay with it.”

Ari sighed and I could tell he was trying to figure out how to say what he was thinking. He was always cautious with his words. In part because he was still self-conscious about his English, but also because Ari was not a careless person. I wondered if he’d always been like this or if the things he’d been through had changed him.