Page 87 of Once Upon a Fable

His mouth grazed mine.

My heart lurched in a way it had never lurched before. Ripping free from arteries, kicking away veins as if they were ropes holding it within me, ready to commit treason by choosing him.

The horror that I could want someone who’d treated me so cruelly made common sense rush back like a tsunami.

No way!

Joshua. Home. Normalcy.

I have to go.

I can’t do this.

I refused to be swayed by sex and stupidity.

His breath drugged me as his fingers tightened around the back of my neck, tugging me the final distance to kiss me deep.

And that was it.

If he wouldn’t end this...

I will.

I would never be able to live with myself if I didn’t.

He sighed as his eyes turned soft and trusting. Drunk on our proximity,his shields shattered, his pain nullified.

I’m sorry.

Wrenching backward, I broke his hold and swung my arms up. The metal of the shovel glinted, sharp and ready to strike.

My swiftness took him by surprise as desire fogged his reactions. He blinked as if he couldn’t compute that the first moment of connection was the moment where all connections died.

“What—” He struggled to push himself up.

I had a precious second to choose him or me.

Live or die.

I choose me.

Swinging the shovel, I brought it down.

I whacked the blade against his head.

The clang vibrated through my arms. The heavy thud made my stomach turn over with nausea.

And...it was over.

His body went instantly lax beneath mine. His arms splayed sideways, his palms facing upward, his eyes drifting closed with a groan.

I scrambled off him and stood on shaking legs. My belly tried to retch as I looked down.

Oh, God, what have I done?

Blood trickled from his forehead where I’d struck. His lips stayed parted, still glistening from his tongue. His scruff and long hair made him seem adopted by the wilderness. Leaves trying to blanket him, shadows doing their best to claim him.

I stared and stared, waiting for some sign he was alive.