Page 495 of Once Upon a Fable

“Kas, let’s go for a walk.” Gemma tugged my hand, her skin clammy with anxiety. “I need some air.”

Translation:you need some air.

But I was done being weak.

I’d come here to help others like me.

I’d come so kids crying in the dark, marked in bruises, and craving death wouldn’t have to wait as long as I did before they were free.

I could find them.

Free them.

I could save them this fucking heartache of doubting their own minds, fearing their own nightmares, and wondering if they’d ever be completely sane.

But I wouldn’t do it their way. I wouldn’t be their puppet.

Pointing a finger in Tony’s face, I snapped, “I’ll make a speech if it will help the kids who are lost, but I’m not being paraded around like a piece of meat, do you hear me? I’m not shaking hands. I’m not going to pretend I’m cured and that any of this is fucking easy. It’s not. Nothing about this is easy. Trying to live again after waiting to die? Believing you should be able to slot back into society, only to come face-to-face with the heartbreaking truth that you’redifferentnow. You’ve changed and might never change back. You realize, against your wishes, that you’re not like the others who have never been touched by darkness. You’re still fucking lost even though you’ve been found.”

Tony froze on the spot, his eyes wide.

Gemma choked on tears.

I should stop.

A small crowd had formed around us.

But I wasn’t done.

This wasn’t about me.

I knew I would be okay,eventually.

I knew I would continue fighting because I had something to fightfor.

But what about all those victims who didn’t have a Gemma in their lives? What about the kids who went back to families only to be total strangers to their moms and dads? What about the ones who’d been eaten up so deeply by that horrendous fucking darkness that they’d never be happy, never be sane, always be on the fringes, broken beyond repair.

That was Jareth’s future.

And that was what made me rage.

He’d been broken decades ago, and after his bloodlust was sated—after he’d tracked down every person from Fables and murdered more men than I could count—then what?

What would he become?

Did he honestly think he could get a job, live in a suburb, and talk to strangers at the supermarket?

Fuck that.

His life was over, and he didn’t even know it.

Just like so many other kids who hadn’t been found in time.

Tears stung my eyes as I lowered my voice, wavering with hate and passion. “What you people don’t get is...the hardest thing to overcome isn’t what happened to us but the fact that we have no fucking idea who we are anymore. We listen to so-called specialists who think they know how to heal trauma. We take the pills that promise to straighten out our nightmares. But none of that works. Know why?”

Tony shook his head quickly, licking his lips. “Why?”

“Because unless you’ve lived it. Unless you’vefeltit. Unless you carry the scars and screams of every day that you fought to survive, then you’re not qualified to tell us how to heal. I’m sick of thinking I shouldbe better. I’m sick of doubting that I’ll ever heal. I’m sick of being afraid ofmyself.I’m sick...” I sighed and pinched my nose.