Page 401 of Once Upon a Fable

She flinched but then relaxed into my touch, turning around for me to massage down her spine, over her ass, and down her legs. Sighing, she murmured, “We don’t have to stay.”

I stiffened but swept back up her body, dragging the soap with me. Turning her around, I repeated down her front, fondling her breasts longer than necessary, cupping between her legs before ducking down to her toes.

I took my time answering.

Just because I finally saw a splinter of light in my perpetually dark world didn’t mean I was mentally ready for more. Jareth was here now. He’d stay until I was “cured” enough to deal with company.

“I know I literally just said I needed to be pushed, but...I can’t leave, Gem.” I swallowed, giving her something I didn’t think was possible. “Not yet at least.”

She froze, her gaze shooting to mine. “Wait. You’re saying...maybe? Sometime in the future, you’ll consider coming home with me?”

Anger flared. “This is your home now.” I tried to soften my words. “I mean...I wanted you to leave. Two nights ago, I was prepared to march you to the cliff myself.”

She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Yes, but—”

“If you want to go...then you should go. I’ll walk you back to your Jeep and help you find your keys.” I squeezed the back of my neck. “But I can’t leave...not yet. I’m still not...stable.” I winced. “I know tonight might’ve given you false hope. Made you believe that I’ve taken the biggest step toward recovery, but...you’re right that the alcohol definitely helped. Jareth helped too. And of course, you are the most help of all, but I can’t promise I’ll be able to stay strong against my tendency to shut down if I don’t stay somewhere familiar.”

“You’re not giving yourself enough credit.”

“And you’re giving me too much.” I pushed her back under the water, helping her rinse. When she was clean and could breathe again, she ran her hands over her face, waiting for me to duck beneath the icy water.

Once all the soap was washed away, I turned off the tap and climbed out of the shower, tossing one towel to Gem and grabbing one for myself. She shivered with that reserved look still in her gaze.

Temper curled through my post-sex glow, making me a little pissedoff. No matter how good tonight had been between us, she still didn’t want to stay.

But I’m not ready to go.

So where the fuck does that leave us?

I sniffed. “Look, let’s talk about this some other time.”

“Some other time being a year from now? A decade from now?” She wrapped her hair up in her towel, wringing out the water. The look on her face was tight and threatening. “We can’t hide here forever, Kas.”

My headache flared.

Whispers returned to my ears.

“You’re nothing, Kas. Nothing but a toy to be broken.”

I backed up.

The light inside me drowned beneath dark. The bourbon made me nauseous, and my gaze flickered with the beginnings of a black out.

I needed some space.

Rubbing my mouth with my hand, I muttered, “I’m tired. I can’t have this conversation right now.”

She nodded, her shoulders slumping. “Okay, I understand.”

Needing to fix what I’d ruined, I pushed past my body’s aches and pains, softening my voice with apology. “Before we go to sleep, let’s go find Jareth before we have no choice but to leave because he’s eaten all our food.”

She laughed sadly. “Sure.”

I marched from the bathroom before she could say anything else.

* * * * *

“I’m sorry,” I murmured as Gem appeared from the bedroom. “I didn’t mean to shut down and get pissy.” She’d dressed in black jeans and a heavy knit beige jumper, pilfering the guest wardrobe. “You look nice.”