Page 311 of Once Upon a Fable

But you feel something.

“Fuck!” Breathing hard, I collapsed back into the chair.

Despite not remembering last night, I knew I was lying to myself. What I felt for Gemma had transcended just the need for a sexual release a while ago. I knew that. That conclusion was written in black and white. But the difference was, those memories werereal. They hadn’t been planted there by her words. Those memories came with feelings and knowledge, not blank and empty.

She’d fought to convince me pretty hard that what she said truly happened last night.

But what if something completely different had occurred?

What if I’d caught her running and fucked her on all fours in the forest as punishment? What if she’d tried to kill me with the dinner she’d made, and I’d smelled the poison, only to smash the food all over the carpet? What if she’d begged me to let her go, and I’d said yes? Wouldn’t that make her look at me as if she cared? Only to hate me when I woke and reneged on such a promise?

So many scenarios.

So many stories, just like all the paper ones glowering at me from their bookshelves.

I trembled as I closed my eyes, commanding my thoughts to stop playing hide and seek. Instantly, walls soared into place, chains clunked tight, and rusty padlocks loomed in my mind’s eye.

No.

I didn’t want to wade through the shit shackled behind those doors, I just wanted to know what the hell happened last night for Gemma Ashford to look at me as if I wasgood.

As if I’d shown pieces of myself that made her fall.

“I’m not yours forever, Kas. I’ll never be.”

Her voice came and went.

A phrase that sounded familiar, but I couldn’t remember when.

I scrubbed my face with my hands, itching at the hair on my cheeks.

A whiff of papaya crawled up my nose—

Bubbles.

Bath.

Breasts.

I gasped, rocking backward, inhaling my fingers, doing my best to trigger whatever recollection just came and went.

Oh, God, what if shewastelling the truth?

What if Ihadgiven her a bath last night?

What if we slept together?

What if I’d actually earned her heart?

Me!

The kid who was worthless. The boy who was abused. The man who was forgotten.

Me!

Ah fuck, why can’t I remember?

Panic coated my palms with sweat as I rifled through my thoughts.