Page 221 of Once Upon a Fable

Would I have the energy to fight him off?

Would I even want to?

And why the hell was I dangerously angry but also disgustingly disappointed that the tension between us hadn’t detonated into all out sexual war?

It was this house, this valley, this man.

I’m losing it.

The knife slipped in my palm, my skin turning slippery with mistrustand misery.

“You okay?” he asked softly.

My rage exploded, causing me to grip the handle harder. “Am Iokay? What sort of question is that? As if you care.”

He stilled, familiar temper swirling behind dark eyes. “I care.”

“Yeah, sure. Okay, then, I’m fine. Completely and utterly over the moon that I’m chained to a man who has no intention of letting me go. A man who makes it perfectly clear he can take me whenever he damn well wants.”

“I won’t touch you. Not today.” He caught my livid stare. “I told you, there are more important things.” A twisted chuckle spilled through his lips as he glanced down at his straining erection, trapped inside his jeans. “I won’t lie and say I can barely focus with the pain of needing you, but my head also fucking hurts, and I’m doing my best to do the right thing.”

“Why?”

He spread his hands as if even he didn’t fully understand. “If we focus on survival now, it means I get to keep you for far longer.” He stood taller and sniffed. “If I give in to what I want, then we both die. Miserably and sooner than I’d like.”

“The longer you keep me alive, the greater the chance you’ll die when I take you up on your offer of freedom.”

His stare went vacant for a second, zoning out to a blackness I couldn’t see. Then he shook his head and shrugged. “The longer I keep you alive, the greater the chance I have of being happy...even if it’s for a short while.”

My mouth fell open.

I wanted toscream.

Was this his new method of torture?

His honesty dug claws into my stupid heart.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?” His face was urgent and intelligent. “I’m telling the truth that firewood is almost as vital as food.” No signs of deceit or danger in his voice as he inched closer. “Drinking snow works, but I’d rather not have to carry bowlfuls through Fables if I can help it. I don’t know how long it’ll be until I’m back at full strength. Plus, there are a few odds and ends to do with getting the house weathertight. Then, of course, I have the important task of figuring out what to do with our food shortage.”

He genuinely needed me to understand how his existence worked because it was my existence now too.

“I need your help, but I’m also going to teach you. You need to understand the consequences of your actions out here. You need to respect—”

“Respectyou?” I stiffened, feeling judged for being naïve and using his supplies. I hadn’t deliberately sabotaged his rations, yet he hadn’t been able to forgive me.

“Respect that no one will save you if you fuck up,” he muttered. “You’re on your own.”

That final sentence reeked of his loneliness of the past decade. He’dlearned that lesson firsthand. My heart lurched then shut down. My stomach fluttered with pitiful butterflies, then shot them with harsh common sense.

Stepping back, I struggled to keep my anger. I fought to remain remote and furious, but I wasn’t lying about the exhaustion. Keeping that level of hatred required an eternal fire of fury, and somehow, Kas kept pouring damn water on it.

Seeing him like this? Animated about mundane things, forecasting and planning, it all revealed a part of him that was free from all the awfulness he’d lived through. When he talked about agriculture and seasons, he wasn’t the boy who’d been raped and molested. He wasn’t the man who couldn’t face those memories.

He was normal.

He was calm and free from the demons that haunted him.