Page 52 of The Duke's Only Desire

“So stop lying to me.” Brutal disappointment replaced the anger in her eyes. “And stop lying to yourself.”

Grimacing as a tear finally broke free and slipped down her face, she angrily swatted it away as she turned to leave.

“I don’t deserve you,” he confessed, his voice hoarse.

She stopped, her hand resting on the door handle. She didn’t move, not to leave, not even to breathe.

“Because you’re afraid I’ll leave you the same way your mother did,” she guessed, her voice barely more than a breath.

“No.” With his heart thudding like a death knell in his hollow chest, he somehow managed to keep from howling in rage at the life fate had cast him into, at the guilt and grief that radiated through him. There would be no salvation for him. “Because Iama heartless monster, more than you realize. I didn’t lose my face in the fire.” He paused to keep his voice from cracking as he admitted, “I lost my soul.”

He came up behind her and slipped his arms around her. Not to selfishly steal an embrace from her, not to physically ask forgiveness—he did it so she couldn’t turn around. Because if he saw the look on her face, if he saw her outrage and condemnation, it would end him.

“I murdered my brother that night.” The world shattered around him as he admitted, “And I did it for you.”

Sophie shoved herself away and spun around to gape at him. What he’d said wasn’t true. It simplycould notbe true!

But the guilt she saw in him sliced into her like a poisoned blade, and the anguished breath ripped through her lungs.

He gestured at his scars, his hand tightening into a fist. “Thisis my punishment for wanting what was never meant to be mine, for hating my brother for having you. I pushed you away after the fire because I couldn’t bear to see you and be reminded of what I’d done, of exactly what kind of monster I truly am.”

She couldn’t resist any longer and reached to take his hand, to ease away the pain being squeezed in that fist. “No. You’re not a mon—”

“Ishould have died that night, not John!”

His angry shout shook the panes of cold glass around them, and she stared at him, her body flashing numb.

Suddenly, all of what he had done following the fire struck her with an icy-cold realization, one that formed a hard block of ice in her chest. He hadn’t been punishing her by staying away; he had been punishing himself. Worse, the way he’d behavedsince their marriage, how he drew away every time she tried to come closer, how he’d refused to open his heart to her—

Oh God. He thoughtshewas his punishment for his sins.

“And that’s why—” Her voice choked off with grief. She pulled a deep breath and tried again. “That’s why you think you don’t deserve to be my husband.”

“IknowI don’t.” The self-hatred and guilt gripping his face stopped her heart. “You don’t deserve to have a murderous monster in your bed, and I sure as hell don’t deserve your love in return.”

“Then…” She fought hard to voice the question because she was terrified of the answer. “Then how do we save our marriage?”

His broad shoulders fell, and he slumped back against a tin-topped workbench, all the fight leaving him—the same tin-topped bench on which she’d cut herself earlier, when she’d still possessed hope of having his love and creating a family together. Now, that hope vanished like smoke into the winter sky, leaving only icy nothingness behind.

“I’ve been thinking, ever since Malcolm visited…” His voice trailed off, then he slowly shook his head. “Maybe we shouldn’t save it. Maybe it’s time we put an end to it.”

And with that, he simply ripped her heart right out of her chest.

She struggled to ignore the unbearable pain searing her insides and find her breath enough to rasp out past numb lips, “You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” He pulled in a ragged breath, so fierce that it shook him from hat to boots.

“I won’t destroy another life. Especially not yours.”