Page 53 of The Art of Almost Losing It
“I need a discount on a hundred thousand microchips.”
“No.”
“I’m signing your name on this order.”
“No.”
“Hey, I do a pretty good job of forging your signature. Thanks, bro. I’ll take it to accounting. Where’s that little stamp thingy you use to make everyone know it’s legit?”
My phone goes off.
Ryan:You still coming to sibling lunch?
Ever since Ryan found out that my paternal half-siblings (God, my life is more complicated than the Svenssons’) have lunch every Tuesday, he’s wanted to start a maternal sibling lunch.
It’s terrible.
I hesitate, about to give an excuse for why I can’t make it.
Wait—I could use Dani as an excuse…
Finn blatantly reads over my shoulder as I type then delete the message.
“Wait—Dani actually wants to see you, like, socially, even after you kidnapped her?”
“Shut the fuck up,” I hiss. “The walls in my office are glass. I can’t have people knowing I kidnapped a girl. Especially not one like Dani.”
“I’d be more worried about the fact that she’s got your balls in her hands and she’s squeezing.” He makes a fist in front of my face.
“Yeah, really. I mean, I’d be impressed if it wasn’t ruining my life.”
“You are two peas in a morally gray pod.”
I scoff.
“Aw, you didn’t start to fall for her, did you?” He ruffles my hair.
“Fuck no.”
“I don’t care what Grayson and Aaron do. I’m never falling in love. I’m never getting married. I’m certainly never bringing a kid into this shit show. And me—I know what I am. I’m a monster, just like Dad. Literally like Dad, though.”
“Literally? I mean, you literally failed to keep a girl locked up, so I think you’re not like him.”
“Dani is different.”
“Let me guess.” He paraphrases Dad. “You two have a special connection?”
“No! Even if I got a brain lesion and was dying, Dani would be at the bottom of my list. She’s… There’s something wrong with her.”
“There’s a reason why guys like Dad pick certain types of girls to kidnap.” Finn sits on the edge of my desk. “Didn’t you read all those FBI reports? Predators always target the ones with acertain type of personality profile. Your stepdad literally wrote the book on it.”
“Yeah, I fucking know.”
“And nowhere in that book does it say psychos kidnap high-paid investment analysts from rich families. Spencer says she lives in one of the fancy doorman buildings.”
“With her parents. Okay, so I mean, I think she fits some of the criteria.”
“Sounds like she comes from a loving, involved, nurturing family.”
