Page 32 of The Art of Almost Losing It
“Oh, is this the girlfriend everyone thought didn’t exist?” Claire’s father earnestly shakes Dani’s hand.
Ryan makes a face.
“Dad—” Claire hisses.
Claire’s dad is oblivious. “Ryan, I think you owe Claire a bit of money.” And then, shaking my hand: “And here’s the proud boyfriend. Graham Richmond.”
I see the recognition skitter across Dani’s face.
Yeah,I want to tell her.That Richmond.
She downs the rest of her mimosa then my scotch.
“Ryan’s paying for the brunch, Dad.” Claire tries to shove her father into a chair.
“Oh no,” Dani insists. “Graham’s paying—I think he and I are running up quite a tab.” She waves her glass. “Long night at the office. Financial analysis. Work hard, play hard. Such is corporate life.”
“Your parents must be proud!” Claire’s mom beams. “Seems like Graham got quite the catch.” She says this to my mom, Aurora.
My mom doesn’t smile. “I’m sure they’re really proud that their daughter makes rich men even richer.”
Bridget glares at Mom.
“Yeah, it’s really not that exciting.” Dani grimaces. “Mostly spreadsheets. We do get free food if we work after nine, which is nice.”
“Ooh, free food. That’s a fair exchange for your soul.”
“Mom!” Hannah hisses.
“What?”
“He is never bringing another woman around if you act like this.”
“Maybe that’s for the best,” Frank mutters behind his menu.
Claire’s dad opens up the menu. “Did you all already order?”
Aurora doesn’t even look down.
“No, Frank, we were waiting for the dramatic reveal of whether my son’s girlfriend was real or a very elaborate tax write-off.”
It’s weird that it stings that my mom doesn’t like my fake girlfriend.
This is a good thing. I don’t want her to like her.
Now I have an excuse to get rid of Dani.
Is it Stockholm syndrome?
Why is she cooperating?
Maybe she does care about you.
Shut up.
Dani—I have to give her credit—is great with my family. Well, my siblings and Claire’s family, to be exact. Funny, charming. Even when the jokes are at my expense. Who cares?
I did it.
