Page 138 of The Art of Almost Losing It
Lulu is moseying around the plants. I need to make sure she doesn’t make a mess. Mom’s right. Everything has to be perfect.
The top of our residential building has a solarium with a big glass dome and little white tables, and residents can keep plantsthere. It’s perfect in winter, and I wish I was up here with a blanket and a good book instead of setting up for Colette’s bridal tea.
“Are you still thinking about your recent stroll down sex-goddess lane?”
“He said I sucked,” I hiss at her. “Remember?”
Piper starts helping me lay out the sandwiches on the antique, crystal three-tiered tea towers I’d been collecting at thrift stores.
“He was just negging you. You can’t go by what men say. You have to go by what men do. And Graham wants to do you.”
“I don’t know. Maybe it wasn’t that exciting for him.”
“You said there was, like, kinky choking stuff and he got really possessive.”
“I mean, maybe.”
“Was he hard?” Piper presses.
“I don’t know.”
“I bet he was. Next time you’re with him, grab his dick and see what it feels like.”
“I just… I was hoping my first time would be with someone who, you know, liked me,” I whisper.
“Are you kidding me? You’re making him feral.”
“Yeah, but is this normal? I remember what Kraig said. Graham is dangerous.”
“Kraig also wants to bone you. I bet he’s jacking off in your panties at home right now!” Piper crows.
“I don’t know how I feel about that…”
“Feel amazing about that. All that manifesting we did on New Year’s Eve instead of going out to clubs paid off! You’re drowning in men.”
“There are, like, two men.”
“Sounds like his stepdad might have a thing for you, and you said that homeless guy catcalled you in the train station.” Piper beams. “Progress.”
“I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t know what a man’s supposed to act like.” I’m fretting.
“I think all men get feral and horny and aggressive when they want to fuck a woman they like.” Piper pokes me in the side. “Though I can’t imagine your dad ever acting like that with your mom,” Piper muses.
“Eww, gross, gross, gross. I do not want to think about that.”
“You need to go back to that penthouse tonight,” she tells me.
“I can’t just show up. Also, I don’t have anything to wear.”
“Hmm.” Piper taps her chin. “I got it. He went crazy for you when you were in his closet, right—wearing his shirt?”
I nod.
“Okay, so you’re going to go over there, you’re going to steal one of his dress shirts, put it on, and walk into his study. He won’t be able to resist. You’ll be an experienced sexual being by sunrise.”
“That sounds ominous.”
“If we really want to make sure he’s going to stick his face in that cherry pie, then send Kraig some text messages asking what he’s doing with your panties.”
