Page 28 of Healing Daddy

“Do you love me or are you here to get to my dad?” Leary lifted his head as the final words left his lips. His eyes were red-rimmed.

Fury slammed into JJ. “Don’t ever say that to me again. You’re the only person I love. You’re my everything.”

Leary’s sad expression didn’t budge. “I saw what you did. I saw—”

JJ slashed his hand across his throat, warning Leary to stop.

Leary obviously saw the panic in his eyes because he fell silent.

JJ picked up a sketchbook and a marker. “Baby, I love you so much. Please don’t question that again. You’re ripping out my heart right now. Go back to coloring.”

Leary took the hint and started coloring again.

JJ wrote him a note.I’m 99.9% sure this room is clean since this security system is truly for my safety only. Still, I won’t take chances with you. I love you too much. You know how I told you I’d figure out a way to be here with you every night? This was the terms. I had to give Beau a way to keep tabs on your dad and deliver him a message from Beau. In no way is this about you and me. Everything about us is real. I just didn’t know any other way to have this life with you. This was Beau’s price.

He passed the sketchbook to Leary. “Look what I drew for you.” JJ watched Leary’s gaze sweep across the page.

“Can I add to this, Daddy?”

JJ smiled. “I love when you call me that, baby. You can add whatever you want.” He handed Leary the marker.

Leary didn’t start writing right away. He held JJ’s stare, looking soft and hopeful. “Do you really mean that? I don’t want you to feel like you have to play with me. I didn’t go into this expecting you to be my daddy. Just being with you is enough for me.”

A sad smile pulled at JJ’s lips. He hated that Beau put him in this position. “I honestly fucking love it, baby. You have no idea how much it hurts my heart that you’ve ever had a reason to doubt me. All I want is to make your life perfect. You’re my little ball of bear-y sunshine. I love you. It’s killing me that you might not believe what I’m telling you.” He hoped Leary understood he meant his note.

The sweet smile that touched Leary’s lips loosened the grip life had on his guts. Leary dropped his gaze and wrote in the notebook. After a minute, he handed it back to JJ.

“I added some pretty bows and stuff.”

JJ stared at the note Leary had added.I’ve always known my dad is bought and paid for. That’s how I met Banks to even get a membership at The PlayPen. Not that Dad knows about that part. I don’t care what’s going on between Beau and him. I don’t want to know. However, I will say Dad hasn’t been here to bug the place since we’ve been dating. I can’t remember the last time either of my parents were here. When I’m not home, you are. You would’ve seen anyone who tried breaking in. As for us, when you said you’d find a way to move here, I told you I didn’t care what it took. I stand by that. You’re everything to me.

JJ fought back tears as he read. He sniffed, and Leary rubbed his leg. The relief that poured through him spoke volumes about exactly how much fear and sadness he had been holding back at the idea of losing Leary. He had outwardly stayed calm, just in case a single word of their conversation could be heard through their new security system. JJ wouldn’t risk Leary for anything.

He ripped the paper out of the book and sat up. “Let’s go look at this in the light. I bet it’s beautiful.”

Leary followed him into the bathroom.

JJ grabbed a lighter that sat next to the candles they lit when they took their bubble baths. Without thinking, JJ flicked the lighter and set the corner of the note on fire. It wasn’t until he watched the page burn in the sink and ran water over it that JJ realized what he had done. His gaze shot to Leary.

Leary had his hand over his mouth.

JJ couldn’t shake the shock. “Did you see me do that? I just did that, right?”

When Leary dropped his hand, he wore a huge grin. “You did. I saw it. Congratulations, gorgeous. All your hard work paid off.”

For whatever reason, JJ still didn’t believe. The move had been such an unconscious one. He had forgotten his hand wasn’t real. JJ picked up the lighter and tried again. It lit again.

“Holy shit. I have my hand back. I don’t know why it hasn’t hit me before now. But I have my hand back and,” he turned and wrapped his arms around Leary’s waist, “it’s because of you. You did this for me. My little miracle worker gave me my life back. More than that. You became my life. How can I even thank you for that?”

Leary’s smile never dampened. He wrapped his arms around JJ’s neck. “You never have to thank me for doing my job or for loving you. Nothing has ever been easier in my entire life.”

JJ lifted Leary off the floor and set him on the edge of the counter. He maneuvered his way between Leary’s thighs and crowded his space. “I need you to look me in the eye and see how much I genuinely love you. Please tell me you don’t have a single doubt about my feelings. There’s still a rock inside my stomach that won’t budge because I gave you a reason to doubt me. I love you so fucking much. It might actually kill me if you took your love for me.” Until JJ made his confession, he hadn’t realized exactly how true every word was. He felt as if a boot pressed on his neck at the idea of Leary having a single doubt about being JJ’s entire world.

Leary shook his head. “There’s no doubt in me. No one could look at you and say you don’t love me. It’s me. Being around my parents always stomps all over my self-worth. It doesn’t take much to undermine my every thought when I’m with them.”

He would never understand how much JJ loathed that. “So, let’s do something about it. Do you want to mend the relationship or limit the exposure?”

Leary shrugged. He looked vulnerable again. “There was a moment with Mom tonight where I remembered the good times we’ve had. If I could hang on to that with her, I’d like to. Everything about my dad is completely fake. Money and his reputation are all he cares about. I’m not sure it would bother me to never set eyes on him again.”