Page 19 of Healing Daddy

“Then he told me he knew I dressed like a girl, but he had expected I would actually look like a girl and his friends wouldn’t know I wasn’t.”

“This is when you kicked his ass, right?”

The question and the outrage on JJ’s face made Leary realize not only had JJ heard every word Leary hadn’t, but he also cared about what July said. Guilt washed over Leary. Sometimes JJ’s presence in his life overwhelmed everything.

Thankfully, July responded without realizing Leary hadn’t heard a word. “I didn’t have to. The waitress overheard everything. We made eye contact. Sheaccidentallydumped a tray of drinks in his lap.”

JJ laughed.

Leary did too, just to cover up how deeply he had been lost in thought.

“How did he react to that?”

At JJ’s question, Leary glanced behind him. July made a dismissive gesture. “I used the pandemonium to grab my purse, mumble something about running to the restroom, and I was out of there. When I got home, I drank a bottle of wine and passed out. But that’s why I asked you guys to go out with me tonight. I need to be in a place I belong for a little while.”

Since he was caught up enough to catch the drift of the conversation, Leary jumped in. “I’ll always be here for you.”

“We,” JJ chimed in.

Leary gave a sharp nod. “We’ll always be here for you.”

July beamed. “You have no idea how much I appreciate it. Normally, Fletch would take me, but he just got home from Hawaii last night. Apparently, the day after traveling, there’s a lot to do around his place.”

July’s wording made Leary wonder if July didn’t know what Fletch did for a living. Surely he did.

JJ pulled into the parking garage of the club. July popped out as if he couldn’t wait to get inside. Leary loved seeing July excited about anything at all. When they had first met, July had always been sullen when they were at the club. Leary could tell how much July believed he didn’t fit at The PlayPen. Leary kind of got it. July wasn’t exactly a Little. He was more like someone stuck in their pre-teen years. There wasn’t much of that at The PlayPen. Not to mention, the daddies who came to find a little one obviously weren’t looking for someone like July. Since July had been going with Fletch, July seemed as if he had found his place at The PlayPen.

As Leary stepped out, he looked in every direction, hoping no one he knew was around. Every time Leary came here, he worried someone would recognize him and this pastime might hurt his career. That was why only July and JJ knew his real name.

JJ held his hand, and they strolled in together as a group. As soon as they cleared security, July was off like a rocket when he obviously spotted someone he knew.

JJ looked his way and shook his head, but he smiled like a proud father. “I guess we’re not cool enough to hang out with anymore.”

Leary sighed. “At least we raised him right.”

They roared with laughter as they parted ways. While July always dressed like a teenage girl, Leary didn’t feel comfortable leaving his house in pajamas. He had to keep this side of his life behind doors. Leary headed into the bathroom to change while JJ made a spot for Leary to play.

As the pajamas covered him, stress fell from him. He just wanted to be someone different for a few hours. Leary spent his days helping other people. While he loved his job, Leary needed to have times where he had no responsibilities.

With his clothes changed, Leary headed back out. He spotted July in the area made for playing dress-up. There were two other boys, and they fought to pick clothes for each other. JJ sat with the books. He had spread out coloring books for Leary, along with art supplies. Leary immediately skipped to him and went down on his stomach to color. He actually enjoyed drawing and coloring a lot. It was one of the few Little experiences he also did at home. The way he could focus on making the page pretty gave his mind the rest it needed. Unfortunately, tonight, Leary couldn’t seem to clear his head.

Thoughts ran through his mind, unsettling him. Was JJ really okay with this? Maybe he just tolerated nights like tonight since they happened so rarely lately. He had the overwhelming urge to ask JJ if he would still love him if he was a worm. But JJ hadn’t even said he loved Leary as a human, so that killed that. Another thought steamrolled the last one. Leary hadn’t told JJ he loved him either. Maybe JJ didn’t think Leary would still love him if he was a worm.

Something about slipping into his Little persona gave him courage. It was like he became a child who openly said his every thought with no knowledge of possible repercussions.

Leary grabbed a picture book and crawled JJ’s way. He rolled onto his back and put his head in JJ’s lap. Leary fiddled with the book, keeping his gaze locked on the shapes inside.

“I love you.”

If JJ reacted in any such way, Leary would never know. He still couldn’t bring himself to look at JJ.

JJ pushed Leary’s hood down enough to run his fingers through Leary’s hair. “I love you too.”

The happiness that exploded inside him almost made Leary want to jump to his feet and click his heels. Instead, he stayed put and savored the sensation of JJ stroking his hair. Leary spent a couple of minutes flipping through the book. No matter how he fought it, Leary couldn’t stop there.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, baby.”