Page 8 of Heal Me, Love Me

Lucky me.

I booked it before I talked myself out of it. Then I grabbed my duffel, took one last look around the room, and took off.

The hallway was quiet as I headed for the elevator, nothing like the packed arena I’d just left, where voices had called my name and people had moved in every direction. None of the guys or coaches were around to ask where I was going or try to stop me from leaving.

That was fine.

No one had stopped me the night I’d ruined us, either, but at least this time I knew I was the one choosing to leave.

LAX was crowdedand too loud, full of people dragging suitcases across the tile, kids crying near the check-in counters, and agroup of guys in matching shirts arguing over which terminal they were supposed to be in.

As I was pulling up my boarding pass on my phone, a text came through from Keaton:

You good?

I didn’t respond, and a minute later, my phone rang, with his name filling the screen.

For one weak, pathetic second, my thumb hovered over the answer button. I hated that I wanted to hear his voice, so I forced myself to let it go to voicemail.

At security, the TSA agent glanced from my ID to my boarding pass, then handed my license back and waved me through.

“Next in line.”

After clearing security, I found my gate and dropped into a seat by the window. My body ached now that the adrenaline was fading. My shoulder was stiff, and my muscles felt heavy, but none of that compared to the pain behind my ribs.

Another text came through.

Keaton

Call me when you get this

I stared at the screen until my eyes burned.

He really wasn’t going to stop.

That was the worst part. Keaton knew exactly how to push. He knew I carried what happened in high school with me. He knew I still hated myself for it. He knew I’d spent four years replaying that moment in my head.

My phone buzzed again.

Keaton

Answer me

Then another.

Keaton

Please tell me you’re okay

My throat burned.

“Stop,” I whispered, even though he couldn’t hear me.

A family sat across from me, the mom half-asleep while the dad tried to stop their toddler from throwing fish crackers onto the floor. His dad finally took the bag away, and the kid burst into tears. For one stupid second, I wished I could go back to being young enough that a dead 3DS battery felt like the worst thing that could happen.

When my phone rang again, I turned it off before the second ring, and the silence that followed felt better and worse.

Boarding began soon after, so I followed the line of people onto the plane and made my way to the window seat near the back. After shoving my duffel into the overhead bin, I sat down and stared out at the dark tarmac.