Page 35 of Heal Me, Love Me

It was across the country.

It meant him waking up in Sacramento while I trained in a gym in Tampa, with missed calls, different schedules, and bothof us trying to hold on to something we’d only just stopped hiding from. We’d barely gotten each other back, and now someone was already handing me a reason to leave.

“I’m not making a decision right now.”

“I get that.” He sounded too calm and too controlled, as if he were holding back until he knew what reaction I needed from him.

“Keaton.” His attention snapped to me. “I’m serious. I’m not making any decisions without talking to you.”

“You don’t need my permission to chase your career.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.” I stepped closer. “I’m not going to disappear to Florida and text you afterward.”

“Don’t say that unless you mean it.”

“I mean it.”

“Because Florida is a hell of a lot farther than your parents’ house.”

“Believe me, I’m aware.”

He reached for my hand, his fingers sliding between mine, and I didn’t want to let go. “I hate this,” he admitted.

“Me too.”

“I hate that he said Florida. I hate that I can already tell he knows what he’s talking about. I hate that this might be good for you.”

“Baby—”

“But I want you to have it.” He squeezed my hand. “If this is your shot, I don’t want to be the reason you don’t take it.”

I didn’t know how to answer him because no one warned me this was part of being loved. Keaton wanted me to stay, but he was still telling me to take the opportunity if it was what I needed.

“I don’t want to leave you,” I confessed.

“If you go, we’ll figure it out.”

“You mean that?”

“I think so.”

At least he didn’t lie to make me feel better.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I know.” I snorted a laugh, and he pulled me closer by our joined hands and he said, “I love you too.”

I kissed him because I had to, because I didn’t know what the next month would look like, if Florida would become real, or how we were supposed to survive on opposite sides of the country when we’d barely survived in the same house.

7

Keaton

When we finally pulled apart,neither of us stepped back right away. Despite everything hanging over our heads, having my arms wrapped around Rowan felt right. Better than right. It felt like where I belonged, even if we still had shit to work through.