Page 19 of Heal Me, Love Me

“I had to get out of there.”

“I know.”

“Then don’t make it sound like I just ran.”

“Didn’t you?”

I leaned back in the chair. “No.”

She stared at me.

“Fine. I ran, but do you blame me?”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t be hurt,” she said. “If I’d seen what you saw, I might have reacted badly too.”

“You would have moved out in the middle of the night?”

“Maybe, but I’m going to say something you probably won’t like.”

“Can’t wait.” I snorted and took a sip of my coffee.

“You are twenty-three years old.”

I lifted a brow. “I know how old I am.”

“I know you do, but I don’t think you understand how young that still is.”

I looked down at the plate. “I’ve done more than most people my age.”

“Yes, you have.” Her tone stayed calm, but held more conviction now. “You served. You trained. You’ve spent most of your life on mats, boxed in the Air Force, and still stepped into a cage last night. You’ve carried responsibility, had grown men yell in your face, and learned to stand there and take it without blinking. But that doesn’t mean you know how to love someone without making a mess of it.” She leaned in a little. “And it doesn’t mean Keaton does either.”

I pushed the bacon around with my fork. “He’s not a kid.”

“Neither are you, but you’re both still learning.”

“I know, but I fucked us up first in high school.”

She sighed and set her mug down. “Ro, guilt is not the same as accountability. You keep acting like because you hurt him at seventeen, every bad thing that happens now is something you deserve. That’s not accountability. That’s punishment.”

“I hurt him.”

“You did, but if you punish yourself before you know what’s actually going on, you can’t make it right. You just make another mess.”

“I know what I saw.”

“No. You know what youthinkyou saw.”

“It doesn’t matter?—”

“Maybe it does.” She waited until I took another bite before speaking. “I know you don’t want to hear this either, but Keaton might not be the only man you ever love in your life.”

I stopped chewing. “Don’t say that.”

“Ro ...”

“I don’t want there to be anyone else.”

“You’re only twenty-three.”