Page 118 of Fly's Path

“We will. I promise.”

The grape tastes better than it looks. The part of me that’s still ravenous from my run kicks in, and we both eat in focused silence.

“You full? Or should I go get more?”

As tempting as it is to ask for more…“I’m good, thank you. Not just for that…but for all of this.”

“You make it so easy to spoil you.” He lifts the platter and sets it on the ground next to the chair.

“No, I don’t.” If anything, it feels like all I do is make whatever this is harder.

Fly turns back to me. “Yes, you do. Do you really think a relationship shouldn’t have any bumps or challenges?”

I shrug. “There’s so much bad in the world. I’d think that falling in love would be the one easy thing.”

He chuckles. “There isn’t anything easy about falling in love, Sheri. The hardest thing in the world is pulling your heart out of your chest and handing it to someone else to protect.”

“That sounds kinda violent.”

“Not violent. Never violent. But scary.”

“You can’t promise that it will never be violent.” No one can protect you when it’s the person you love hurting you.

What Do I Say?

Vandal

The sad part of this morning is that it went exactly how I expected it to.

There’s not a single part of my brain that believes Lola will ever forgive me. What I’m doing is an act of futility.

A stupid dream that keeps believing the woman loves you enough to see through the madness and believe in your love.

No woman should end up with a creeper that acts like I am now.

She should walk away and never look back. Lola should slap my face and tell me to stop. She should throw every vile thing I did in my face and tell me to go away.

But the stupid part of my brain wants her to see the real me. To look past what I’m doing and see me…see what we mean to each other. I want her to know down to her soul that I’m a good person and there must be some very good reason I’m doing this.

Pipe dreams are all I have at this point.

A bag of takeout from the pho place she likes, a bunch of flowers, and a diamond bracelet finish this afternoon’s offerings.

They aren’t enough, and bringing them feels like bribing her, but I need something to get her to stop and listen to me.

And what am I going to say? I’m sorry. I’ll never do it again.

Lies…more lies. My life right now is all lies.

At least when I was Vaughn Linckester, I didn’t have to lie.

Except when I said I was happy.

That my life had purpose.

Walk away.

She’ll be happier if you walk away.