Page 28 of Phoenix

“I was when we played together.” He rested his head against Jule’s. “Remember the mud obstacle course we built in the backyard?”

He chuckled along with Tor. “I was so fucking dirty. My dad lost his shit until you reminded him that my mom was out of town so she wouldn’t see. I spent an hour in the tub when we got home, and I never saw those clothes or shoes again.” Heshook his head. “The man was weirdly concerned about hygiene considering all that time he spent in bed with Vickie.” Tor’s mother had never been especially clean or sanitary or sober.

“He loved her,” Tor whispered.

Jule considered that. He hadn’t fully understood his father’s relationship with Vickie when he was young or even as he had gotten older because his father was married to his mother, because Vickie would disappear for long stretches, because his father had other affairs. But thinking back to how he had always been drawn back to her, how he had tried to stay away his entire life but never managed it, he recognized that it had to have been about more than sex. But love?

He shook his head. “That’s not how you treat someone you love,” Jule said, disgust tainting his voice. “If he wanted her, he should have been with her out in the open instead of spending years sneaking around. He fucked up my mom’s life, your mom’s life, his own life.”

Tor looked at him intently, but he didn’t say anything. They never spoke about their parents, not when they had been alive and not after they were killed.

“He was a fucking coward,” Jule spat. “I hate him for that.”

Tor wove his fingers through the back of Jule’s head and massaged his scalp.

“I miss him,” he rasped.

Tor turned and pressed a kiss to Jule’s temple. “I know.”

The Sonoran Desert stretched in front of them, and in the distance, a coyote howled. “Do you miss her?” Jule asked.

It took Tor several long seconds to answer. “I didn’t really know her. She was gone way more than she was around, and even when she was there, she wasn’t. You know?”

He did. Tor’s mother had been high every time he had seen her. In some ways, it was a wonder she had lived as long as she had. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. I have my brothers. I’m lucky.”

Jule turned his gaze to the men laughing and chatting and singing a few body-lengths away from them. “Yep.”

“Come on.” Tor stood and pulled Jule to his feet. “Let’s go hang with them.”

Jule took Tor’s hand and followed him to be with the rest of their family. It was a perfect night and the only thing Jule wanted in life was more of them.

***

“When you said it would take time, we didn’t think you meant more than five years.” Jule’s grandmother gave the chief of police her most disapproving stare. The woman was tiny and a bit frail, but that expression was well-practiced and efficient.

Chief Montez shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I’ll admit that I didn’t either. We’ve had some struggles.”

“Struggles?” his grandfather repeated.

“Getting entrenched in the Knights organization is more difficult than we anticipated. They are locked down tight and they’re suspicious of outsiders. Most of the officers we’ve sent in haven’t been able to get through the door and those who did weren’t able to rise past the scout level.”

“I assume that’s the lowest level?” his mother asked.

Chief Montez nodded.

“So, what you’re saying is that you’ve gotten nowhere?” Jule said, frustrated.

The first time his family had met with the chief of the Phoenix Police Department about his father’s murder, he had been a teenager in the throes of shock and loss, barely able to hold himself together let alone get his mind wrapped around a criminal investigation. Now he was an adult with a clear mind and a very good handle on what was at stake. Not as it related to his father, he had always known that John Jones killed him in a definitely jealous and most likely miscalculated rage. But whathe understood with absolute clarity now was that until Tor’s psychotic father was off the street, he would always be hiding and unable to move on with his life, which meant Jule couldn’t live either. He was sick of it.

“That is not what I said.” The chief’s expression went steely. “I said our undercover operation isn’t as expansive as we’d hoped it would be and that is the reason for the delay, but we have made significant progress.”

“You consider an inability to arrest one man after over five years of effort progress?” Jule scoffed.

His mother gave him a warning look. She didn’t approve of unbecoming or unprofessional conduct, even if Jule wasn’t in a professional setting talking about his dead father’s unsolved murder. Jule didn’t care what she thought so he glared at Chief Montez.

“You’re correct that we haven’t arrested John Jones, but that’s only because once we gained a deeper understanding of him and his organization, we realized that putting him behind bars would make things worse.”