Page 123 of The Risk Taker

Poof. Gone.

It’s not like I need some grand declaration from him or something, but we’ve been in each other’s beds every damn night, sleeping in each other’s arms, whispering shit you don’t tell someone you don’t care about.

But now… I just feel stupid, like I misread every single moment between us.

I thought after Cole and Aurora caught us, he was starting to… open up. Warm up to the idea of people knowing.

But maybe that was just me. Maybe I was seeing what I wanted to see.

What if I’m the stupid moron who caught feelings and all he wanted from me was to use me as his little experiment to figure out if he likes dick?

Well. He got his answer.

I swallow around the lump in my throat.

That’s all anyone ever fucking uses me for, isn’t it? A little fun in the dark and completely fucking forgettable in the light. Goodenough to fuck in secret, but never good enough for anyone to actually choose.

I told myself I wouldn’t let anyone make me feel like that again after what happened with Finn in high school. I swore it.

But fuck… it’s Nathan, and I let myself hope. I actually thought?—

Fuck.

My throat tightens and I stand up before I do something embarrassing, like admitting to him I haven’t wantedanyonelike I want him.

“Wait up,” I tell the guys. “I’m coming.”

Nathan’s head snaps up,finallylooking at me since Austin and Ryan entered the room. “You’re going?”

I turn to him, stuffing my hands in my pockets and lifting my shoulders. “Is there a reason for me to stay?”

I stand there, watching him, giving him a chance to say something—anything—that’ll keep me here.

His mouth parts and I hold my breath, thinking he might say something, but nothing comes out. His gaze drops again like he can’t quite bring himself to look me in the eye.

I nod, letting out a scoff. “Right.”

I turn, pushing past the guys as I make my way up the stairs, forcing my legs to carry me toward my room, even though my chest feels like it’s caving in on itself.

I don’t look back. I don’t wait to see if he’ll stop me.

Because I already know he won’t.

31

NATHAN

It’s almost two in the morning, and I’m still wide awake.

I’ve turned over in bed so many times tonight that the sheets are twisted around my legs, half the blanket hanging off the side. I gave up trying to sleep an hour ago, but I haven’t been able to get out of bed. I’ve just been lying here, staring at the ceiling, my ears perking up any time I hear a creak in the hallway, hoping it’s him.

Austin and Ryan got back ages ago. I heard them come in, laughing as they walked up the stairs.

But Logan still isn’t home.

I glance at my phone again, seeing my message still sitting there, unopened.

I shouldn’t care this much. I shouldn’t be lying here, tense and restless, wondering who he’s with, what he’s doing, if someone else has their hands on him right now.