Page 8 of Keeping My Enemies Closer: Pt. 2

After a moment of silence, I said, “It’s been a couple of days, Zoya.You need to call your grandparents and tell them what’s happened.”

Her back immediately straightened.“I haven’t found the words yet.”

“There are no words for something like this,lepestok,”I pointed out as kindly as I could.“You’re waiting for something that isn’t going to come.”

“So, what?I’m just supposed to blurt out that their daughter is dead?”she bit out.“I’m just supposed to express my condolences, then call it a day.”

“No,” I replied firmly.“You explain to them what happened from the heart and then hope that you can grieve together.”

Her eyes narrowed, and I knew what was coming before she even opened her mouth.“While I realize that this may be a foreign concept to you, not everyone is used to or comfortable with delivering death notices to unsuspecting family members.”

I cocked my head, then turned to face her as she removed her legs from my lap, scooting as far away as she could from me.“You say that as if those who I’ve killed were good people, Zoya.You say that as if I should feel bad about delivering the news.”

“You’re not God,” she spat.“What gives you the right to decide who lives or dies?”

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“You’re no better than they are,” she went on, needing a target for her pain and anger.“You’re a criminal just like them.You kill people with no thought to what it does to their families.You’re just as evil as the men who shot me and killed my mother.”

I stood up, then slid my hands into my pockets as I stared down at her.“Just so that we’re clear, I’ve never broken into an innocent woman’s house to rob and kill her.”Cocking my head again, I added, “What I do is far much worse,lepestok.What I do, a person can never recover from; they grieve forever.”

“And you’re proud of that?”she hissed.

“Yes,” I answered coldly.“I am proud of everything that my family has accomplished and what it’s taken to accomplish it.I’m not one for regrets,lepestok.If I was, then I wouldn’t be good at my job.”

“You’re a killer.”

“Baby, I’m a survivor,” I clarified.“I’d been raised to survive this life since the day that I’d been born, and I will continue to do whatever it takes to stay on top, along with my family.I’ll also do whatever it takes to make sure that you survive this life as well, and I’ll definitely have no regrets over that.”

“I don’t want this life,” she lied.

“So, are you saying that you no longer want me?”I challenged.“Because there is no separating me from this life.Iamthe bratva.”

Zoya didn’t say anything to that, but what was there to say?I’d already made it very clear that I was never going to let her go, and our current situation hadn’t changed that.No matter what, Zoya would never be free of me, and once her grief waned, she was going to remember that.

“I’m tired,” she lied, dismissing me.

“Whether you really are or aren’t, I will let you be,” I told her.“However, I advise you to handle matters before I do it for you, Zoya.I can appreciate that you are grieving and dealing with a lot, but you cannot continue to hide from the world at your leisure.Call your grandparents, so that we can finally make arrangements for your mother.”

Instead of letting her respond to that, I gave her a terse nod before walking out of the library.That familiar melody was playing in the back of my mind, and so I made my way to the back of the house to where my personal gym was located.I needed to find a way to work off the violent energy consuming me from head to toe.I wasn’t handling her distress as well as I was pretending to be, and I could only take so much before I began to ignore all of Viktor’s married-man sage advice.

I wasn’t used to doing nothing, and I wasn’t handling it well; I could admit that.Zoya’s unhappiness was a problem for my mental stability, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to keep it together.I wanted to hurt someone, but I still didn’t have a name to take my anger out on.

I also didn’t appreciate how she had compared me to the two men who had shot and killed her mother.I wasn’t anything like them, and I was sure that she knew that.Her accusations had come from a dark place that wouldn’t allow her to think straight, and she was lucky that I understood where she was mentally and emotionally.

I loved Zoya.

I needed Zoya.

I couldn’t be without Zoya.

So, even as understanding as I was trying to be, it was in her best interest to make the most of the grace that I was offering her.While I had no problem with her needing to grieve and get a grip on her guilt, I was not going to allow her to be happy without me.I had no problem with taking responsibility for all the evil that I was comfortable unleashing, but I was not going to let Zoya blame me for something that I’d nothing to do with.

Not this time.