Page 52 of In a Perfect World

“Kairo...I...Jesus Christ,” he muttered as he ran a hand over his hair, the tight cut impossible to muss.“Christ, son.”

“Look, I don’t need a lecture on everything that I’ve done wrong, because I’m very aware of how I’ve fucked this up, Dad,” I told him.“What I need right now is to find her.I...I need to find her.”

Keeping his voice very deliberate, he said, “Kairo, I can’t do anything to help you find her.”

“Dad-”

He put his hand up to shut me up.“Even if I believed that I could influence anything, the laws of this land dictate that I’d have to call Benicio Cortez and tell him what’s going on, and I can’t do that without opening a really chaotic fucking can of worms, Kairo.”

“I don’t care!”I yelled.

“I do!”he yelled back.“I’m not going to let your hormones and bad judgement destroy over twenty years of peace in this country!”

“My hormones?”I choked out.“You think I did all this because I wanted to get my dick wet?Do you know how many women hit on me and Leyden weekly?Do you know how many women would love to have our last name?Triana isnotsome random fantasy that I used to get my dick wet, Dad.”

I watched him take a deep breath, calming down as he went into parent-mode.“Be that as it may, I have no influence in Rancher Hills, Kairo,” he repeated.“If I start making calls to find a girl that I have no business making calls about, questions are going to be asked, and I won’t be able to answer them without having my son thrown in prison.”

“I left her in the woods alone, Dad,” I reiterated.“She is out there with nothing.She is a woman out there on her own because ofme.”

“You said that she was going to go with or without you, Kairo,” he replied.“So-”

“And had I let her go alone, then she would have done it in her own car with plenty of provisions to get her through whatever she needed to get through.Iwas the one who...who lied to her and led her out there withnothing.Even if I didn’t love her, what kind of man does that make me, huh?What kind of man leaves a woman on her own like that?”

“It was her choice to leave in the middle of the night, son,” he pointed out.“She could have easily ridden back with you and then made other plans to try again.You didn’t leave her out there,sheleftyou.”

“Because I betrayed her,” I snapped.“Quit trying to rewrite the narrative to make me blameless because I’m the only one to blame here.I’m the one who went back to the creek after the first time we met.I’m the one who crossed over to kiss her.She was only there to find a way to get her life back on track, and I’m the one who swooped in and complicated things for her more.This is on me.”

“While I can appreciate you taking responsibility for your choices, it doesn’t change the fact that there’s nothing that I can do, Kairo,” he said, and I hated how calm he sounded.I felt like I was losing my mind, and he sounded like it was just another day at the office, and I didn’t care how unfair that sounded.“And while I can also appreciate how you feel about this girl, I’m not going to do anything that can land you in prison, son.Don’t ask that of me, because I can’t do it.”

“So, that’s it?”I asked.“I’m on my own?”

“No,” he quickly rushed out.“What you’re going to do is leave it alone.You can’t help that girl if you land yourself in trouble, Kairo.Think about that for a moment.What good are you to her if you end up getting arrested for crossing over into Rancher Hills?”

“You’re serious, aren’t you?”I asked, my lungs having difficulty working.“You’re really expecting me to just...just do nothing.”

“No,” he lied.“I’m asking you tothinkbefore you do anything rash.You said that she has a brother and that you know of a best friend, so why don’t you try to reach them on social media and tell them what’s going on.It might upset them, but they’re in a better position to find her than you are.”

“I can’t believe that you’re asking me to just stand back and let someone else handle this,” I said, feeling disappointed that he wasn’t siding with me.

“Kairo, does she evenwantyou looking for her?”he asked pointedly.“By your own account, she feels like you betrayed her, so would she even want you kicking up all this fuss on her account?’

“Kicking up a fuss?”I echoed.“Are you serious?That’s how you see this?As kicking up a fucking fuss?”

That had him straightening to his full height.“Watch how you talk to me, son,” he ordered.“I am your father, and you best remember thatI’mnot the one who created this mess.”

I knew that tone, and so I also knew that I wasn’t going to get any help from him right now.He was pissed at me, and while he had every right to be, I wasn’t in the mood to be understanding.Triana was alone and on foot in a place that she’d never been, and I was the one who had left her there.Oh, my father could argue all that he wanted about how it’d been her choice to leave, but I shouldn’t have gone to bed like I hadn’t just fucked everything up with my confession.I could have still given her space while still looking out for her, and I hadn’t, failing her in the worst way.

“No, you’re right,” I said.“This is my mess, and I shouldn’t have come to you to clean it up.”

“Kairo-”

“I’m good, Dad,” I lied.“I’ll handle it.”

“Kairo, I need you to listen to me,” he said, a hint of desperation in his tone.“You cannot go into Rancher Hills.No matter what, you can’t go there or contact Benicio Cortez.”

“I won’t,” I promised.“I’ll reach out to her brother like you suggested, and if God’s in a forgiving mood, they’ll find her unharmed.”

“Kairo-”