Page 110 of With the Assist

“Your family lives around here. Are you spending the holiday with them?” I ask.

He’s never told me much about his parents, but I know he adores his sister.

His toe digs into the dirt as he nods. “Yeah. Figured I’d show my face.”

The words sit between us, heavier than they should be for this conversation.

“You don’t sound too excited.” It’s not a question, but an opportunity for him to elaborate if he wants. I know firsthand that not everything’s easy to talk about.

We make our way down the tunnel to the exit, passing by groundskeepers who are heading to freshen up our paint lines before the scrimmage later this week.

“Why don’t you want to go home?” I can’t seem to mind my own business.

He exhales slowly, eyes flicking toward the ground before meeting mine again. “It’s not that I don’t want to,” he says carefully. “It’s just complicated.”

I wait, refusing to pry the details out of him.

“They’ve never really been on board with this,” he adds. “Hockey. The career. The whole thing. Of course, they encouraged me to play when I was a kid. Then, I ended up being really gifted. I got scouted and committed to it. They’ve never been able to get on board with me doing this for a living.”

He shrugs. The gesture looks learned, like armor he’s been wearing since he was too young to know he needed it. “It’s hard to enjoy being around people who are perpetually disappointed in you.”

Something twists in my chest. It sounds like a script he’s practiced until it sounds like indifference instead of disappointment.

“They should be proud of the effort you put in.”

My dad would never miss a game he could physically attend. My sister wears my jersey on game days, even if she can’t watch. Despite the pressure to provide for them financially, we are close. Their belief in me has never wavered, and the thought of Nathan not having that is depressing.

He let out a dry laugh. “The effort I put in doesn’t matter to anyone.”

My heart clenches, and I find myself disliking people I’ve never met simply on his behalf. He’s one of the most decorated NHL players of this generation. He makes small talk with the arena custodial staff. He agreed to help me save my captaincy without hesitation. Aside from the effort he puts in on the ice, which is extensive, he manages to put that same effort into caring about everything and everyone around him. How could anyone not see how amazing he is?

“I’m sorry.” My words are laced with sadness. Mostly for him, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t also for me. Because he’s exactly the kind of person I’d be with if it were an option for me.

He gives a small smile. “Don’t be. I’d rather run another four miles right now than go home for the holidays, but Delaney asked. I can’t say no to her.”

“Little sisters can be bossy.” I tease, lightening the mood. “Emma is only eighteen, but she scares me.”

“Ha.” His eyes light up as he looks at me. “I can’t picture anyone or anything scaring you.”

We reach our cars and finally slow, the moment stretching thin. Our eyes stay locked on each other, and I wish things were different. This is the moment where we part cleanly, and I do the sensible thing. I have always been good at being sensible.

“A lot of things scare me, Nathan.” My voice is breathy, a confession wrapped in subtlety. The corner of his mouth tilts up in a sad half-smile as if he knows exactly what I’m referring to.

“After the holiday this weekend, can we meet up Monday for training?”

My smile sharpens, even though my chest aches. The lines I’ve drawn simultaneously keep me from letting go with him, while tearing me in half over it. “Sounds like a plan.”

We hesitate, then step apart, the spell breaking as I turn toward my car. My keys are already in my hand when I hear it.

A low, frustrated sound under his breath. My name is barely audible off his lips.

Before I can turn fully, his hand wraps around my arm, tugging me to him. I gasp as he spins me, my back hitting the side of my car. Then, his mouth is on mine.

It’s hard and desperate. The metal of the car is cold through my jacket, a sharp contrast to the heat building everywhere else.

All thought evaporates.

I launch myself into him without hesitation, fingers fisting in his hair, kissing him back like I’ve been starving and just remembered what food tastes like. He presses closer, crowding my space, the solid heat of him grounding and unraveling me all at once.